mabaker
04-19-2011, 04:30 PM
Sorry if you have already read this or seen my other posts - but I got lost putting my story in the wrong forum - still glad of any advice - thank you.
Does anyone know about 12.5% minoxidil? I've been recommended it - sounds scaryily strong!
Hello - when I was a child my hair was my joy - whatever else was messed up in my life - my hair was beautiful - and probably that's how I let it become so much of me.
4 years ago my hair started to fall out - I believe - as a result of extreme stress. This triggered a breakdown, I was suicidal, and I ended up in hospital. I went to see a trichologist in London who uncovered low ferratin - he couldn't seem to find any increase in stress hormones (can't understand why) and he told me I was suffering from an "interupted hair growth cycle" - big help. I now had a mental health record with a diagnoses of bipolar2 and was on all sorts of horrid useless antidepressants - and nobody, not one of the health care professionals I was to-ing and fro-ing from seemed to believe or understand that my hair was falling out and that was the main problem - I was very attached to my hair, I was having an existential crisis but they kept on diagnosing me as pyschotic. The antidepressants just made me eat and sleep which made me feel even more awful - and my mood didn't lift at all.
So I went to see a gynaecologist (the hero of this story) to see if stress had pushed me into a menopausal state causing hair loss - no this was not what the bloods showed - but he insisted I had a mammogram - and this showed that I had breast cancer. It was wide spread in my left breast and so I had a mastectomy,reconstruction and reduction of the right breast to match the left. I had a new breast made from my excess tummy and so I now have the best boobs ever and have had a tummy tuck too - what's not to like?!!
Chemotherapy saw of what was left of my hair and I didn't believe it would ever come back. Eventually I stopped taking the antidepressants and got something else that helped with my chronic back pain - something else the doctors dismissed. Amitryptaline - is what I use as a sedative and it can also be taken as an antidepressant at 100mg. It does bring weight gain and chronic constipation with it - but it's good for me. I hadn't taken any of it since 2009 -until recently - when my hair started to shed again.
After chemo my hair did come back and it was glorious - grey and white with a head full of curls - it seemed like a fairy tale ending to a total nightmare - and I was so glad to be back and fit, loving and enjoying my wonderful family. So 4 great years went by - I felt better, blessed and grateful. I felt in those years better than I ever had - during the nightmare I had confronted so many fears and issues with my counsellor - I'd been to hell and back - I felt beautiful again - more so than I ever had and I started to truly and finally enjoy being me.
However around about Christmas 2010 I started to struggle with my periods. During Chemo I had gone into post menopause - and felt like death but was given HRT - femeston - which according to my trichologist is one of the best for hair - livial is bad as it's male hormone driven. I am able to take HRT as my cancer was not oestrogen receptive. About 4 months after my chemo stopped my periods returned and I stopped the HRT.
By about Jan this year I felt as if I was going mad - everything upset me - the days just before my period were hell - I got spotty - everything was wonky and I felt scarily depressed. I thought a haircut would help - Oh unhappy day - it was then that I realised that my hair was much thinner than it had been. By March I knew it was falling out. The top layers were curling up and dropping out. I went to my GP (who immediately noticed my mental health record and offered me antidepressants) I declined and insisted on some blood tests. The bloods showed that I'm into my menopause - I felt it would come early as my cycle was never the same after chemo - something else that the doctors always dismissed. They didn't even believe me during chemo - when I said I must be menopausal - but the bloods came back at post - menopausal levels! My GP basically told me I was making a fuss and he would never never give me HRT. Well I didn't listen to him and went straight back to the lovely gynaecologist and told him I was already taking some HRT that I had left over from Chemo days - he okayed that as fine and wrote my GP saying as much. He checked all the other usual stuff - all fine except sex hormones. I should have asked him how the blood tests results compared to the last lot I had, as I feel as if my testosterone is out of control - but he didn't mention it. Anyone know about testosterone and at what levels it should be?
I think the HRT might have slowed down the hair loss at the back - but over the top and temples - not so sure - lost I think about 50% and the white hairs are still weak and easily falling. So as my gyny is on holiday I have started taking 2mg of Femeston instead of 1mg. I don't really care about risks - I don't want to live through or put my family through this hell again. I'd rather have 5 more good years - than struggle on for 20. Well that's what I thought a few days ago - I've since found all you lovely courageous ladies here and been in touch with some friends - and have started to imagine just letting it all go, truly facing myself and being at peace.
So here we are - I didn't think I would have to walk this line again - but I am and if anyone has experienced any part of this rambling story I'd love to hear from you - with advice or just to say 'hey sister - you are beautiful'. Generally I love this beautiful universe and the people in it. Sorry to droan on but as I'm sure you all know - this is tough. Light and love to allx
Does anyone know about 12.5% minoxidil? I've been recommended it - sounds scaryily strong!
Hello - when I was a child my hair was my joy - whatever else was messed up in my life - my hair was beautiful - and probably that's how I let it become so much of me.
4 years ago my hair started to fall out - I believe - as a result of extreme stress. This triggered a breakdown, I was suicidal, and I ended up in hospital. I went to see a trichologist in London who uncovered low ferratin - he couldn't seem to find any increase in stress hormones (can't understand why) and he told me I was suffering from an "interupted hair growth cycle" - big help. I now had a mental health record with a diagnoses of bipolar2 and was on all sorts of horrid useless antidepressants - and nobody, not one of the health care professionals I was to-ing and fro-ing from seemed to believe or understand that my hair was falling out and that was the main problem - I was very attached to my hair, I was having an existential crisis but they kept on diagnosing me as pyschotic. The antidepressants just made me eat and sleep which made me feel even more awful - and my mood didn't lift at all.
So I went to see a gynaecologist (the hero of this story) to see if stress had pushed me into a menopausal state causing hair loss - no this was not what the bloods showed - but he insisted I had a mammogram - and this showed that I had breast cancer. It was wide spread in my left breast and so I had a mastectomy,reconstruction and reduction of the right breast to match the left. I had a new breast made from my excess tummy and so I now have the best boobs ever and have had a tummy tuck too - what's not to like?!!
Chemotherapy saw of what was left of my hair and I didn't believe it would ever come back. Eventually I stopped taking the antidepressants and got something else that helped with my chronic back pain - something else the doctors dismissed. Amitryptaline - is what I use as a sedative and it can also be taken as an antidepressant at 100mg. It does bring weight gain and chronic constipation with it - but it's good for me. I hadn't taken any of it since 2009 -until recently - when my hair started to shed again.
After chemo my hair did come back and it was glorious - grey and white with a head full of curls - it seemed like a fairy tale ending to a total nightmare - and I was so glad to be back and fit, loving and enjoying my wonderful family. So 4 great years went by - I felt better, blessed and grateful. I felt in those years better than I ever had - during the nightmare I had confronted so many fears and issues with my counsellor - I'd been to hell and back - I felt beautiful again - more so than I ever had and I started to truly and finally enjoy being me.
However around about Christmas 2010 I started to struggle with my periods. During Chemo I had gone into post menopause - and felt like death but was given HRT - femeston - which according to my trichologist is one of the best for hair - livial is bad as it's male hormone driven. I am able to take HRT as my cancer was not oestrogen receptive. About 4 months after my chemo stopped my periods returned and I stopped the HRT.
By about Jan this year I felt as if I was going mad - everything upset me - the days just before my period were hell - I got spotty - everything was wonky and I felt scarily depressed. I thought a haircut would help - Oh unhappy day - it was then that I realised that my hair was much thinner than it had been. By March I knew it was falling out. The top layers were curling up and dropping out. I went to my GP (who immediately noticed my mental health record and offered me antidepressants) I declined and insisted on some blood tests. The bloods showed that I'm into my menopause - I felt it would come early as my cycle was never the same after chemo - something else that the doctors always dismissed. They didn't even believe me during chemo - when I said I must be menopausal - but the bloods came back at post - menopausal levels! My GP basically told me I was making a fuss and he would never never give me HRT. Well I didn't listen to him and went straight back to the lovely gynaecologist and told him I was already taking some HRT that I had left over from Chemo days - he okayed that as fine and wrote my GP saying as much. He checked all the other usual stuff - all fine except sex hormones. I should have asked him how the blood tests results compared to the last lot I had, as I feel as if my testosterone is out of control - but he didn't mention it. Anyone know about testosterone and at what levels it should be?
I think the HRT might have slowed down the hair loss at the back - but over the top and temples - not so sure - lost I think about 50% and the white hairs are still weak and easily falling. So as my gyny is on holiday I have started taking 2mg of Femeston instead of 1mg. I don't really care about risks - I don't want to live through or put my family through this hell again. I'd rather have 5 more good years - than struggle on for 20. Well that's what I thought a few days ago - I've since found all you lovely courageous ladies here and been in touch with some friends - and have started to imagine just letting it all go, truly facing myself and being at peace.
So here we are - I didn't think I would have to walk this line again - but I am and if anyone has experienced any part of this rambling story I'd love to hear from you - with advice or just to say 'hey sister - you are beautiful'. Generally I love this beautiful universe and the people in it. Sorry to droan on but as I'm sure you all know - this is tough. Light and love to allx