I hate them all. My long (and sometimes violent)rant.

[Kirthi]

Who do I hate?
The ones who stand next to me and go "Oh my hair is soooo heavy! I wish I had thinner hair/ I might have to thin it out" (I hate you and I hate your hair - no, I love your hair, I just hate you.)
The people who then comb their hair, find 4 strands of hair and go "Oh my God! I'm losing so much hair" (Wait, can I try too? We can compare scores, biggest loser their head scalped)
The ones who flip their hair in public and toss it around. (Machete and saws.....)
The ad-men who make those digitized videos of hair that we're supposed to aspire towards. (Roast in hell, you heartless Bas&ards!)
The people who say "Did you know you're losing hair??" (Blinding Rage at this one supplemented with homicidal tendencies)
The people who say "It's your diet/ it's your shampoo/ it's because you are non-vegetarian/ because you don't eat enough meat" (You're like a health superman that way, you know exactly what is wrong with me!!)
The people who say "It's just hair" (Why didn't I think of it that way?)
The people who say "It's not that bad" (Really? Can I shave your head while you're sleeping tonight then?)
The people who say "I wish I had your hair" (No, no you don't)
The store sales people who walk up to me and say "Try this serum, it stops hair fall" (No really? You mean there was a cure all along?)
The people who can't maintain eye contact with me and eye the shiny pate. (Yes, I know I rival the halogen lighting, but hey I have interesting things to say too!)
The people who offer cures. (You have a head of normal/beautiful hair. Do NOT give me "proven" cures for something that you have no idea about and was an urban myth for you until you met me. And I know I will not put fresh rabbit blood on my hair)
And finally, The people who say "It'll all get better" (No, no it won't. It's genetic. I hate it, I'll hate it everyday of my life. All I can do is cope with it. But it'll never get better and I'll never be that girl I know I could have been.)

Thanks for reading this. I feel better having written this. I have a supportive family who's trying to understand what's happening to me and a sister in the same boat who is blindingly angry about her hair loss. I've reached acceptance and the knowledge that this is inevitable.
Has hair loss changed my life? Yes! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. My confidence is a fraction of what it could be, I believe people don't really like me, I don't think anyone of the opposite gender could ever love me and I spend all my time being docile and uber-helpful (read doormat)because I have to make up for the lack of hair/beauty.
I just want to cry and cry and bawl and scream sometimes. I don't remember what it's like to have a head of hair. I don't know what it is to have someone take a double look at you because you're stunning.
And then some days, like today, I tell myself that I am not alone (thank you ladies!), that I have a family that loves me, an curious mind and personality who I love and a life of understanding and compassion. I wouldn't be me today if my hair wasn't dying on me. So here's to me and all you other ladies out there. Give yourself a hug and say "I love you, me!" :D

[feelingwiggy]

ditto...I've had all those feelings...

[kawawa]

Dirty Bastards!!!! All of them!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel your pain, but I also see your humor and that is what will pull you through the hard days.

[VictoriaG]

I love your "rant", I've said it in my head a thousand times, you're a zillion % right on!

[kdwmw]

I have one for you...about 6 weeks ago a long time friend of mine asked if I ever thought about wearing scarves! She quickly added, "not because of your hair, but for fashion." What do you say to that? Wish I had a whitty retort, but just felt hurt.

I think all this inner (and outer) hair turmoil has made me hyper critical of every other part of my physical self...my figure, my skin, my nails. I made a hasty & baaadddd decision to have fraxel laser repair done to my crows feet & under eye area. You know, if everything else looked great, maybe no one would notice the hair. It has turned out badly for me. Now, I need a mask on my face, as well as, a scarf for my head! The past month has been rock bottom depression for me & I have been hybernating. My poor son just started a new school last week & it has just been awful meeting new families & teachers hiding behind glasses & a hat. I'm very sad & really ANGRY at myself. I know I wouldn't have done something so silly IF I HAD GOOD HAIR!!! k

[Kirthi]

Thanks for reading everyone!
@feelingwiggy- thanks for the post and other informative posts as well. Now I'm a little further along on shoring up the courage to go topper!
@kawawa - *waves and hugs* sometimes I think I've reached a zen place about the hair loss, but I'm only human. People are cruel. My sense of humour is one of the only things that's keeping me from becoming a basket case.
@VictoriaG - thanks for the post. I'm saying it in my head a thousand times too. But lately I've been thinking that if they are going to be so insensitive about it (my hair loss is very apparent), then I don't have to worry about their feelings. I think I'm going to start saying it out loud.
@kdwmw - Thanks for your post. Sometimes I think I was destined to get hair loss to prevent me from getting too vain. As it is, I (still) have a very health ego. But yes, I worry incessantly about my skin, my makeup, my look and the image I present. I also know that no matter how put-together I look, people will always discount me because of my hair. It is true that you and I and all of us are lovely people but people will discount us at first glance.

[feelingwiggy]

You are very welcome. Also wise to seek help and support from others who have walked your road and can identify with every stinkin' feeling that comes with hair loss. I've received lots of compliments on my hair. And when I got my wonderful wig (her name is Paula Abdul)... :)- I'm going to name them all... ) my family only said "did you get a haircut, looks really good..."
Oh happy day. Let's put up the good fight together!

[kellyjean]

I can definately identify with ALL of those feelings.

Hahaha, there's a girl that sits in front of me in my AmGov class and she has the most gorgeous hair. I can't even focus on the lecture because I'm wishing I had her hair. Probably thinks I'm a lesbian..... LOL. I'm just envious. Geez.

[Angela]

Who do I hate?
The ones who stand next to me and go "Oh my hair is soooo heavy! I wish I had thinner hair/ I might have to thin it out" (I hate you and I hate your hair - no, I love your hair, I just hate you.)
The people who then comb their hair, find 4 strands of hair and go "Oh my God! I'm losing so much hair" (Wait, can I try too? We can compare scores, biggest loser their head scalped)
The ones who flip their hair in public and toss it around. (Machete and saws.....)
The ad-men who make those digitized videos of hair that we're supposed to aspire towards. (Roast in hell, you heartless Bas&ards!)
The people who say "Did you know you're losing hair??" (Blinding Rage at this one supplemented with homicidal tendencies)
The people who say "It's your diet/ it's your shampoo/ it's because you are non-vegetarian/ because you don't eat enough meat" (You're like a health superman that way, you know exactly what is wrong with me!!)
The people who say "It's just hair" (Why didn't I think of it that way?)
The people who say "It's not that bad" (Really? Can I shave your head while you're sleeping tonight then?)
The people who say "I wish I had your hair" (No, no you don't)
The store sales people who walk up to me and say "Try this serum, it stops hair fall" (No really? You mean there was a cure all along?)
The people who can't maintain eye contact with me and eye the shiny pate. (Yes, I know I rival the halogen lighting, but hey I have interesting things to say too!)
The people who offer cures. (You have a head of normal/beautiful hair. Do NOT give me "proven" cures for something that you have no idea about and was an urban myth for you until you met me. And I know I will not put fresh rabbit blood on my hair)
And finally, The people who say "It'll all get better" (No, no it won't. It's genetic. I hate it, I'll hate it everyday of my life. All I can do is cope with it. But it'll never get better and I'll never be that girl I know I could have been.)

Thanks for reading this. I feel better having written this. I have a supportive family who's trying to understand what's happening to me and a sister in the same boat who is blindingly angry about her hair loss. I've reached acceptance and the knowledge that this is inevitable.
Has hair loss changed my life? Yes! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. My confidence is a fraction of what it could be, I believe people don't really like me, I don't think anyone of the opposite gender could ever love me and I spend all my time being docile and uber-helpful (read doormat)because I have to make up for the lack of hair/beauty.
I just want to cry and cry and bawl and scream sometimes. I don't remember what it's like to have a head of hair. I don't know what it is to have someone take a double look at you because you're stunning.
And then some days, like today, I tell myself that I am not alone (thank you ladies!), that I have a family that loves me, an curious mind and personality who I love and a life of understanding and compassion. I wouldn't be me today if my hair wasn't dying on me. So here's to me and all you other ladies out there. Give yourself a hug and say "I love you, me!" :D

I hear you hon! Rant away.
What do you feel is your next step as you move forward despite your hair loss? How do you see your life as a young woman? It does get better, but not in the way that most think. The hair doesn't magically come back, but over time we discover more of who we are. It does strengthen us and when we look back at all the shit we did to ourselves, it pales in comparison to what others may have said or done. I know I was my worst enemy and I was my biggest critic. Coming to acceptance and then not letting hair loss hold us down emotionally and physically is the greatest gift we give ourselves. :>

[Stacey2478]

If I only had a nickle every time I saw a girl standing in line in front of me, or walking past with a great head of hair and thought "I hate you, you don't even know how lucky you are" followed up with "will anyone notice if I push her in front of that bus?" Or watched a Pantene commercial (hello manipulative lighting!) and thought back to the days when a commercial for a hair product gave me new ideas for hair styles to try, and did not make me want to put my fist through the TV. I would be a billionaire!!! I used to look in the mirror and play with my hair, now I look in the mirror and stare at my scalp obsessively. It's soooooo aggravating!

[Kirthi]

Thanks for the post ladies!
@kellyjean - I laughed so hard when I read your post cause I've had people tentatively broach the topic around me, wanting to know if I think girls are 'attractive" ;D. I never tell though!
@Angela - Thank you for the motivation. I'd like to think I've to terms with the hairloss. Makes me more accepting of other people's problems. My hair loss has been gradual enough for me to make my peace with it, but sometimes the anger just pops up and I think "Why me?".
@Stacey2478 - Totally empathise with the you don't how lucky you are bit. I actually tell my friends that. I'm envious on anyone with hair- dreadlocks, splitends, dry hair, oily hair whatever. I just think you can work with anything so long as you have have hair.

[Denise B.]

I can sooo relate. Although I am able to hide my hair loss (for now), its still heartbreaking when you see someone with with you want and probably used to have......A FREAKIN FULL HEAD OF HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(Denise B.

[VictoriaG]

I have a coworker who is growing her hair for Locks Of Love, and it is really, really thick. She is constantly complaining that she has too much hair and can't do anything with it. If she wasn't doing this for such a good cause, I'd grab a scissor and relieve her of her "problem".!!!

[kdwmw]

Victoria,

I have an idea for your coworker. If she really wants to empathise with cancer patients, she should actually shave her head for the donation. That way locks of love gets a few more inches of hair, plus she'd be making a statement of solidarity for everyone going through chemo. It's ONLY HAIR, right? I'm feeling mean today. . .

[VictoriaG]

Victoria,

I have an idea for your coworker. If she really wants to empathise with cancer patients, she should actually shave her head for the donation. That way locks of love gets a few more inches of hair, plus she'd be making a statement of solidarity for everyone going through chemo. It's ONLY HAIR, right? I'm feeling mean today. . .


I absolutely agree. And that didn't sound mean to me ;)!!!

[Angela]

Victoria,

I have an idea for your coworker. If she really wants to empathise with cancer patients, she should actually shave her head for the donation. That way locks of love gets a few more inches of hair, plus she'd be making a statement of solidarity for everyone going through chemo. It's ONLY HAIR, right? I'm feeling mean today. . .

Its not mean. In talking to quite a few women with cancer, I can say that all of them worried about their hair loss more than dying. Women with cancer have deep feelings about their hair loss, and often that goes unaddressed because they feel like they shouldn't be concerned with it in light of their cancer...after all they could lose their life, so why does this cut them to the core? Hair loss leaves a scar on the soul just like a mastectomy on a woman's body. I remember my first encounter with a woman who had a double mastectomy. It was long before I had lost my hair. I was working in a hospital as a nurses aide and it was the first time I had ever seen a woman with no breasts and two big scars. She was very ill and I had to bathe her. While I was bathing her, she asked me if it bothered me that she had no breasts. I said no, and what she said next amazed me...she said it didn't bother her too much when she lost her breasts, but she never recovered from losing her beautiful hair after chemo. She said when her hair grew back it was wirey and thin and made her look old, fragile and defeated, but she was a survivor who took back her life. I wonder what it must have been like for her to have me come in and take care of her. I was around 25 years old at the time with thick and gorgeous long hair. What was she thinking about my hair? Did she wish me ill will because she lost hers and it didn't grow back properly? Did she secretly despise me? I never understood how she could have been so torn up about losing her hair at the time. The sight of a double mastectomy made me feel like "why would you care what your hair looks like, your breasts are gone." But I understand NOW why she was so tortured by her hair loss. I'm not sure that I would feel the same as her about losing my breasts, but I sure do understand the impact of losing hair.
Any body giving their hair to Locks of Love should be commended, BUT even if they shaved their head, they know it will grow back. They don't understand the deep emotional toll it takes on us, so for them they can say "It's only hair" taking it for granted that it will come back.

[VictoriaG]

Weird coincidence - another of my coworkers (we're a small group, too) did have a double mastectomy in February, and lost most of her hair to chemo. She never complained about the surgery, just the loss of her hair. Thank goodness she is healthy now and her hair is growing back, but you'd think that coworker #1 would spend a little less time complaining about having too much hair when coworker #2 (i'm not including me in this) was so upset about having practically none for several months.

(Kirthi, sorry we've gone off on a little tangent here!!)

[feelingwiggy]

I don't think you are mean at all, you are just honest. But as you go on down this road my wish for you is that you can let go of the anger and find peace with the stinkin' cards you've been dealt. Losing our hair, will take us through a grieving process very much like a death of someone close. Don't fight the steps, try and lean into them (hope that makes sense) . Acceptance and joy will eventually come. Big Hugs to you! Judy

[Kirthi]

That the co-worker is growing out her hair for Locks-of-Love is so commendable. But, she should know better than to complain about the weight of her hair and it's un- tamable qualities in public and possibly in front of someone she knows is experiencing chronic and/or permanent hairloss. Hairloss is still not a well-known problem, but as with every other problem, good behaviour and basic courtesy demands that you don't do things like that.
Most of us are less likely to be blase about the scars and problems we can hide than the ones that are on display everyday.
I think the anger is justified. No, they don't know what it's like, but they should show show more awareness about it.

[Denise B.]

A friend of mine has a sister who had breast ca. Her sister was going to shave the rest of the hair she had left and wear a wig for the duration of her chemo. My friend had given serious thought to shaving her head also just to support her sister. Now, my friend has thick hair like plush carpet and she sports a short spikey do. I know she was sincere about it and could easily carry it off with no problem. Needless to say, she didn't do it. We are sooooo attached to our hair.:>

[ouchy]

I read your post and I thought it was tremendous. I have felt everything that you mention.

To date I am a shell of what I once was. I am full of anger, resentment, spite, despair and hopelessness.

I often wonder why the reason this happened to me. I was doing good raising my three kids, I was happy or at least happier then I am now. Scalp pain, crappy health and hairloss has stripped me of my life. I go through motions like a robot same thing day in and day out with a husband who is so tired he does not even ask me how I am anymore. Our marriage is just motions, life is chronic pain and unhappiness.

How does one get through this when they don't feel well on top of thinning hair and burning scalp?

I don't want to hate women with nice hair, women who seem happy, yet happy people piss me off, I want to just scream.:(

[Angela]

I read your post and I thought it was tremendous. I have felt everything that you mention.

To date I am a shell of what I once was. I am full of anger, resentment, spite, despair and hopelessness.

I often wonder why the reason this happened to me. I was doing good raising my three kids, I was happy or at least happier then I am now. Scalp pain, crappy health and hairloss has stripped me of my life. I go through motions like a robot same thing day in and day out with a husband who is so tired he does not even ask me how I am anymore. Our marriage is just motions, life is chronic pain and unhappiness.

How does one get through this when they don't feel well on top of thinning hair and burning scalp?

I don't want to hate women with nice hair, women who seem happy, yet happy people piss me off, I want to just scream.:(

Its definitely not easy going through hair loss and on top of that not feeling well. Going through flare ups of hair loss for me, comes with neurological problems, very bad joint pain, sleepless nights, no appetite, and pissing myself. (Fun right?) I mostly only talk about my hair loss, but anytime there is hair loss I have other things going on also.
Its not easy doing it all and I've learned that I just can't do it all. I've also learned that I need to ask for help from my family. They need to know that we need them as much as they need us.

At this point in my life, the only people I envy are babies. LOL They don't know how good they have it, and they live in the moment. To be that free and innocent. Damn those babies!

[ouchy]

Angela sorry your also plagued with poor health. How do you manage your days? I am having such a hard time with three school aged kids I can barely keep up with the 100's of school forms school shopping let alone take care of myself. I have some "unknown" condition that's tearing my body apart and my hair drips out of my head. Since my disease still remains nameless and since I still have a covering of hair on my skull I seem to get blown off by the small family I do have. Since there is no blood, broken bones, cancer (that i know of) and I am walking and talking it must not be that big a deal.

I just saw your profile with 4 children, wow I feel like a whiner. Your family is lovely.

I do look at little babies and thnk of the days that were carefree and filled with joy and no fear etc. When you don't feel well it strips you of everything. It really sucks beyond measure

[Angela]

Angela sorry your also plagued with poor health. How do you manage your days? I am having such a hard time with three school aged kids I can barely keep up with the 100's of school forms school shopping let alone take care of myself. I have some "unknown" condition that's tearing my body apart and my hair drips out of my head. Since my disease still remains nameless and since I still have a covering of hair on my skull I seem to get blown off by the small family I do have. Since there is no blood, broken bones, cancer (that i know of) and I am walking and talking it must not be that big a deal.

I just saw your profile with 4 children, wow I feel like a whiner. Your family is lovely.

I do look at little babies and thnk of the days that were carefree and filled with joy and no fear etc. When you don't feel well it strips you of everything. It really sucks beyond measure

What kind of doctors have you been to? Have you been checked for auto-immune disorders?

I can be a whiner....most definitely! LOL Especially with a grand daughter on my hands. I'm amazed at what me and our family has been through and we are still standing.

[ouchy]

It sounds as if you have your hands full.

I have had blood work for immune disorders. 4 yrs ago my scalp became pink and started to burn and sting on a grande level. After starting the pill the brows started to burn and lashes were shedding out. never patchy just diffuse even both arms etc. But derm said no AA, not sure about AGA and all my Dr's say they dont know but there are abnormal things showing up on tests etc. Just nothing like lupus, RA and such even though I have many symptoms.

[Angela]

Does your scalp ever ooze or scab up? Has your doctor been willing to do a biopsy?

[ouchy]

No crusting, oozing just pink and irritated looking when pain is severe and other times I can feel inflammation but not see pinkness. I did have a biopsy done just one punch out of a spot that was pink and painful that day but it did not show anything out of the norm.

[pcosgirl]

Hey Kirthi, I'm new to this site but I just read your "rant" and wanted to say thanks for reading my mind. It's comforting to know other women are out there going through as bad a hair loss as me (or worse) and who get that this isn't just a matter of vanity. Hair is so important to your self esteem like it or not. Guys freak out, and I empathize, but sometimes I almost envy men because a guy can shave his head and look good still or cool, whatever, and he can go on and get married and have a family. It really would take an amazingly special guy to overlook balding/baldness. I know already from just skimming posts here that there are plenty of you with supportive spouses and boyfriends, but sadly I'm not optimistic for someone like me who isn't attached at the moment and who would have to start dating with all this lost hair. And the prospect is horrifying. So, to all the people who tell us to get over it, maybe I'll eventually learn to cope, but I'll always be upset about this and long for the hair I used to have (which was a different texture and thickness not just that there was more of it). I mean, I've been crying daily over my hair lately, not that I never cried before but now I can't control it, and I feel like I can't escape shampoo commercials on tv or ads in magazines, or the newest tip on how to style my hair in a magazine. Grrr, I have lost soo much hair, I don't want to know the cutest, newest way to wear it. I just want to put a bag over my head and call it a day. K, back to crying. Lol. Thanks again though, really did help reading it.

[katt]

I feel exactly the way you feel almost every day. Sometimes i feel guilty and stop myself but then i think to myself no i can be pissed and i will.:):>

[RedSoxFan]

Your rant is a poem and I smiled through my tears while reading it. Your humour and on target wording made me want to have my friends and husband read it and then say to them, "THIS is how I feel!"

Thank you for writing!

[Calla]

This hit me so hard. I started crying because this is exactly how I feel. This girl at school was flipping her hair all over the place, complaining how heavy it was, how thick it was. Then she asked me if I wanted some of her hair! Um yes! Sometimes I don't think people understand what they are saying. I had to go to the bathroom after that and cry. I am SO glad I found you girls!

[julie012]

Kirthi! I love your post. It made me laugh so much and I needed it so badly today. I have finally made a decision that I need a wig and that was a very hard step for me. Oh well.... we need to do what ever it takes to stay and fight. I totally feel everything you said in your post. To add insult to injury my mother has the most gorgeous hair and I have been given the "oh your mother has such good hair...what happened to you?" sweetness. Not only do they make me feel bad they try to make me jealous of my family. It is even hard on my mom who feels guilty to have good hair while I am struggling with my hair loss. Other people sometime just say and do things just to hurt you. I don't know why. I like to think that my own experience has made me a much nicer person. I am always very sensitive to other people's problems because I remember my own pain. We just have to support each other and stay strong one day at a time. Please spread your sense of humour and keep us laughing. I also try to do so but some days I need to borrow strength from one of you to stay smiling. You helped me today:)

[lexiemustang]

Thanks for sharing your rant. I have been losing my hair for almost a year now, and this describes exactly how I feel often. I was just diagnosed yesterday by the dermatologist with female pattern baldness, so now I guess it's official. Whenever I am out and about, I see women with full, gorgeous heads of hair, and I get so jealous. And I'm so sick and tired of wearing wigs.

It's just hair, right? UGH. If I hear that one more time I'm going to scream. :rolleyes:

[Denise B.]

Now I am REALLY losing my eyebrows too. I'm on the hunt a good eyebrow pencil/powder. Its really depressing because I've started to eat right and exercise. I've lost 12 lbs. I feel better. Not only my hair but my eyebrows too!!!!!!!!!! I try not to stress about it, but when you look in the mirror in the morning and see more and more gone.....well it's very disheartening.

[Where'sMyHair?]

OMG, here, please take this big 'ol Mama type hug from me.

I'm new here myself, this is my first post. I'm losing my hair, lost it from the front due to some weird kind of cysts, now losing it in the back from something else, less invasive and bloody (sorry, the cysts were awful) and it's all weird.

I shy away a bit to admit thought that as long as I can get this new, inflammation-thing cleared up, and can figure out why this is happening (moldy house, most likely) I'll shave my head and call it good. I personally don't give a rat's behind what others think, that's on them. But chances are, you're much younger than me, and that's got to hurt more.

So, please, accept any hugs, support, good energy, thoughts, etc. I can send. I'll be around, and will keep y'all posted on what I find out.

BaldieBun

[Where'sMyHair?]

This hit me so hard. I started crying because this is exactly how I feel. This girl at school was flipping her hair all over the place, complaining how heavy it was, how thick it was. Then she asked me if I wanted some of her hair! Um yes! Sometimes I don't think people understand what they are saying. I had to go to the bathroom after that and cry. I am SO glad I found you girls!
Calla,

Sorry, I should try to be an adult, and offer some real, genuine adult-type support, some positive and constructive way of dealing with such gits as the gal at school.

Frankly, the only thing I can come up with is a mind-movie involving an accident with the paper cutter and a stupid young woman's hair.

But then I have an ugly imagination when I think of someone saying that to another person in your situation. I'm old enough, hard enough, and would have been disgusted enough to make myself look a fool by hurling horrible, immature insults filled with ugly cusswords, negative stereotypes, and all sorts of bad, evil, and nasty things at that ignoramus.

If I were in a better mood than I am tonight, I might just calmly ask her how she managed to come by such fine head of well-groomed hair after having obviously been raised by a slavering pack of bitch-wolves.

What? That's the right thing - female wolves, that's what they're called! Right?

I thought so.

Huge hugs,

BaldieBun

[tabbi1019]

Hi Angela,
I love what you said, I too am my own worst critic but am trying very hard to look past the nonsense and learn to love myself again

[Star]

Every word of that is so true Kirthi.!! I'm in India too and there are such less options for AGA. My trichologist and hair transplant doc said I have over all diffuse hair thinning . so transplant is outta the q. I did get clip in extensions when I went to the US last month though.
Hope you feel better!!:):D

[Brittey]

I used to be one of those girls with the really thick coarse long hair. I would bitch about it anytime I straightened it cause it took 2 hours. i would say " I hate my hair! Wells only if I could take it all back...Id smack the fuck out of my old self and say stfu and be glad the shit isn't falling out bitch! I remember making fun of those hair loss commercials when I was a teen,but now i know the misery those people felt.MAYBE this is karma? I hope not ...

[Digress]

Kirthi, I know exactly what you mean. I can relate to everything that you just said, besides the supportive family, as they are the reason for my distress. Quote from what my doctor said 4 years ago when I first started noticing my hair fall, "Don't worry, it'll get better in time" -fast forward to the present- Oh look, it's even worse, and after going back to him because my mom somehow believes that he'll be more helpful or even care after 4 years, he says "Don't worry, it's probably nothing, it'll get better in time" great, thank you so much for the gigantic waste of time, so where do I book an appointment for another 4 years later so that you can tell me that again?

And yes, people who say "It's your diet/shampoo/not enough meat", gee, when did you become an expert on MY hairloss? This is where my family comes in, after my hairloss became more severe, they started threatening to do things with my hairloss. "OH, if you don't drink this soup, all of your hair will fall out." "Eat some more of this fatty steak cause you're not getting enough iron and that's why you're scalp is showing so much" (this is where they shove about half a large plate sized steak drenched in oil on my plate, which I absolutely hate)

People who can't maintain eye contact with me and eye the shiny plate. Family. Oh look, a recurring pattern. I'll be having a nice conversation with my aunt or my cousins or other relatives, they'll suddenly look up and start commenting on how bald I've become or how my scalp has become so much more visible than before. This is usually when my mood turns sour and I walk away or try to end the otherwise pleasant conversation, and even though I've explained to them multiple times that I don't want to hear about my hair loss because I know already how bad it is, they still don't understand why that upsets me and continue to do it.

Another one I'd add would be people who joke about your hairloss, yes joke. This is one of the main reasons why I'm reluctant to even have dinner with my family or close relatives, because they ALWAYS bring it up, and I ALWAYS feel like throwing up when they do. One night my uncle was commenting on how thick and long his sons hair was, and as his son was refusing to get it cut, my uncle jokingly added "haha, we should give some of his hair to you" to which I politely replied "Haha yeah, that would be great." ... haha, yeah, now where's a big yellow bus when you need one?

/End rant =|. Sorry I ranted on your rant page ... and *hugs* hope that things are going well with you now. :)

[Mathilde]

yeah, my family could be more supportive. one of my aunts pointed out my receding hairline to me, and then I was complaining about it to another one of my aunts who denied my hairloss saying "oh, but you were bald for so long as a baby, you're not losing your hair," and I just had to maintain that I am. I mean, sure, that's the fairy tale, ugly duckling becomes beautiful bird, and it's nice to think that that's how life is, but sometimes you're just stuck, and you never get to have that beautiful bird feeling and it doesn't matter if you're nice or clever or witty and have never bilked people out of their retirement savings...
@Digress, I know it's supposedly petty to stoop to the low level of other people, but I'm sure your family is not comprised of a bunch of gorgeous and brilliant people, go ahead and bite back.
... and I can never help but think, it wouldn't be so bad if I had better bone structure, instead of baby cheeks and a slack jaw, I had something more strong, then I could deal w. the hairloss. I mean, I've never been that emotionally attached, cutting it when it got hot and messy was never traumatizing, but when you've got a baby-face, you need something so you don't go around looking like an overgrown infant.
And let's be honest, it is hard out here for the single gals

[Mathilde]

@ star, how are the clip ins/extensions?

[Digress]

@Mathilde: thanks :) I'm tired of the crap they give me about my hair and I'm at the point where I'm not gonna take it anymore. I'm just really glad I'll be moving out in about 2-3 weeks for university, atleast I won't have to see/deal with them for 8-ish months..

I'm sure you're a very pretty woman Mathilde :) if anyone looks like an over-grown infant here, it's me, as I don't seem to have lost any "baby fat" off of my face.. yeah, people still want to pinch the puffy things when they see me .. =|