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View Full Version : advice please wonderous damsels!


oldmanofthesea
10-08-2009, 09:55 PM
Hello,

My name is Laura, I'm from the UK where all the hairloss sites are cold clinical and covered in adverts from oileagenous male 'experts' with bouffant hair promising miracle cures. So, I was overjoyed to find this full of honest women with inspiring stories. I would really appreciate some advice as I'm contemplating suicide (i don't mean this as an insult to all those women who've faced up to hairloss, I guess I'm just weaker than most and already suffered psychiatric illness).

I'm 26. I've always had thin lank hair from birth (must admit i'm jealous of all the damsels who started off with a thick head of hair!). so much so that I've always had to wear my hair a bit like queen victoria - up in a bun but loose at the sides to conceal the lack of hair at the temples. At the age of 18 I started shedding due to exam stress. Ever since then it has thinned gradually with occasional periods of regrowth.

I tried to ignore it though I often avoided going out to parties, certainly never swam in public and have never let anyone touch my hair. I instinctively thrash out if anyone pats my head. Now it's got so depressing that I really hate leaving the house, distanced myself from friends, loved ones etc. You can see scalp at the sides of my head, even though it's 'styled' to cover this part.

I don't know whether you have this species of pseudo doctor in the US, but in the UK the main avenue of enquiry is a trichologist. I've seen 3 in the past 2 months - 1 had no idea, the second was adamant it was early stage female pattern baldness (but didn't look at pictures of my thin hair in childhood), the third who I've seen was adamant it was chronic telogen effluvium (i've seen him a couple of times before). I also saw a wig maker who said it was thinner on top (possibly a vested interest). all my hormone tests have come back normal though my serum ferritin is low. I've been on the combined pill and anti-depressants since age 16, though constantly forgetting to take it for days at a time.

Any ideas on how to get a decisive diagnosis? Any ideas about the genetic component? my dad is bald as a stone, but I can look back at 4 generations of female relatives on both sides of the family all of whom died in their 80's with a thick head of hair - much more than i had to begin with. (several were unkindly nicknamed toilet brush-head at school!) I don't want to believe it's androgenetic alopecia because my hair is already so thin. Though i'm losing little short hairs as well as long ones which i guess is a bad sign. Still i'd like the truth and all the hair experts I've seen wanted me to part with large amounts of money for different treatments or wigs.

Also any tips about hairpieces? - i quite like the idea of having a 'normal' looking head of hair, nothing too glamorous! Is there any possibility that you can wear a lace wig or topper all the time so friends or lovers would never have to know! I'd quite like to move in with my boyfriend but I'd hate him to see me fluctuating between wigged and bald.

Sorry for ranting at length - this is the only place I feel like I can talk about it. (my two best friends and boyfriend are all afro-haired beauties who are very understanding but have always complained about thick unmanagable locks).

All the best,

Laura
X

fullofshed
10-09-2009, 12:15 AM
It seems like the end of the world. There are hundreds of stories like yours just on this web site, fear not! You said some key things...."My Boyfriend" and "my girlfriends", sounds like you are blessed with a great support system (please don't take that for granted).

I've struggled with hair loss issues off and on for 20 years. And from what I understand, there is VERY little "reason" for it. So stop knocking yourself out looking for causes and maybe focus on some treatments. There are plenty of medications (I've had great success with rogiane for example) and pills. The site is full of them, read Dr Redmond's book, and perhaps e-mail his office for a rec in the U.K?

That said, I always felt bad for myself, until my best friend ( a young mother) got cancer...went pool cue bald, and then the meds prescribed sent her into instant overnight menapause ( hair follicule's nightmare) , yet she doesn't give a sh*t. It really put things in perspective, especially when I went wig shopping with her and saw that, worse case scenario, I'll do what she, Tyra Banks, Beyonce and Britany Spears do...I'll wear hair!

Frankly, she looks better in her wig than her natural hair EVER did...and if you've always had crappy hair...go for it!

I was surfin the net today and came across a great site that has Integration pieces, that are like half topper wigs. half extentions. The hair is sewed onto a knit scull cap thing, your hair is pulled through, and it's semi-operminantly attached (no glue) I was SOOOOOOO bummed out to see they were a UK company (google them...in Manchester?) Looked like a great option!

So make a plan, you'll feel less helpless. Read up on TREATMENTS, find a decent Dr (even if you have to travel) and plan B it with a trip to a GREAT wig shop or hair "integration studio".

Best wishes

Lyric
10-09-2009, 04:11 AM
Hi there,

Welcome! Glad you found this site. Hope it will help you like it has me and many others.

There is definitely a correlation between low iron and hair loss. There are quite a few stories on this site by women who have gotten their low iron stores up and have experienced regrowth.

There are also plenty of women on this site who have toppers (sounds like what one of the trichologists you saw recommended) and look fabulous. I'm amazed at how the right topper looks so natural.

I hope you know that you are not alone and that there are much better solutions to hair loss than depriving the world of your presence. We are all in this together and we all try to help each other any way we can. Come here often and post away. It really does help.

RedSoxFan
10-09-2009, 10:16 PM
Hi Laura!

Writing to this forum and getting responses, reading what others have written- it does all help. Finding out I was not alone in this was/is a huge relief. I found getting a 3rd and 4th opinion was very helpful and then making a list of all the options and cost aided me in deciding my next steps.

I agree that making a plan and taking action really does help. This is so hard- use all your supports. I work in a school and when I returned after the summer, I was nervous because of my hair loss. I brought it up to some of my closest colleagues and was stunned at the number who had gone through hair loss. Almost everyone either was dealing with it themselves or a close relative was experiencing it.

If your iron is low, definitely check on taking iron supplements. I seem to be having some success with vitamins, rogaine and laser therapy. Many people feel that the laser therapy doesn't help, but something is making a positive change with my hair.

Please keep writing!

oldmanofthesea
11-08-2009, 12:00 AM
Hi all,

Thank you all for your kind words. It's very bleak when it first dawns on you that your hair loss is probably permanent and so nice to have the support of others

sorry it's taken me so long to reply.

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