Do you ever get this desperate?

[TEforMe?]

I seriously worry if my husband will stay with me if/when I lose all my hair? I worry about how he'll ever find me attractive without hair when I know that my long thick hair was one of the things that attracted him to me 18 years ago. It terrifies me to the point that I've actually asked him if he'll still love me when I'm bald? Is that pathetic? I'm usually a confident and secure woman, and I hate how this process has stripped me of that and made me so sad and shallow and so insecure.

Do any of you ever have thoughts like this? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

[Dharma2]

Hi TeforMe,

I can really relate to feeling insecure. When my loss was at it's worse and I truely believe I would end up with no hair, I wondered the same thing. I sometimes even thought that I might be the one to leave because I wouldn't be able stand being around my husband if I ended up bald. I think it is really normal to have these thoughts. When it comes right down to it I'm pretty sure I would just shave it off and get some type of bonded wig and hope that it didn't affect my marriage and if it did I would end up a stronger women as a result. I like to think my hubby isn't that vain and truthfully I don't think men care as much about our hair as we think.

I was fortunate, I'm 42, and I managed to stop the shedding and regain some of the lost hair by going on Diane 35, Spiro, & Nizoral 2%. The thing is I know that someday I will have to come off of the BCP and then what? So even though I've managed to fend it off for a while I know what the inevitable result will be. This is one tough road we are on and such an unexpected journey. My thoughts are with you. Hugs.:>

[tabbi1019]

Hi TeforMe,
I know how you feel and unless you are going through it or have been through it, you can't understand. So hugs to you and I hope you find a solution...

[gmc67]

TeforMe,

No you are not the only one who feels or has felt this way. It is funny, I had just asked my husband if he would still love me if I was bald last week. The ironic thing is, is that he is balding as well and he has never asked ME that question.

I think the one thing that I wanted from him is to feel that he would always love me and think I was beautiful no matter what.

[ForeverBlue]

My husband left me. I don't think it's because i lost my hair, it's because of what losing my hair has done to me.

I guess he just got tired of me crying 24/7, the depression, the anxiety attacks, the anger i have now, the 2 suicide attempts, and the fact that i just lay on the couch like a zombie every day of my life now. I guess i can't blame him, but it's not like i have a choice in all this.

I think leaving somebody when they are ill, makes you the worst person on the planet. My illness caused me to lose my hair, then 6 months later, i found out i had cancer, So i not only had to deal with losing my hair, i had to deal with being in chronic pain, overwhelming fatigue, and the fact that a Cat Scan just found a tumor, the size of an orange, in my stomach. One month later, i lost my health insurance. So here i sit, almost a year later, just waiting to die. So yes, all these things combined caused me to be depressed to the point that i don't want to live anymore. I just didn't want to die with no hair ( nobody really understands that ). I just hear, well you'll be dead anyways, why should you care.

This whole thing has taught me one lesson ( a little too late ). You may think that people really care about you sometimes, but when things go bad, that doesn't mean they will stick around ( which to me shows, they really never cared all that much to begin with ). Everybody bailed out on me, which i would have never predicted. I just wish i could have known that sooner. Life is unfair.

[gmc67]

ForeverBlue,

I am not going to pretend I know what you are going through,because I don't. I can only say that to me your are amazing. To go and have gone through as much as you have, your are a VERY STRONG Woman.

[Chica]

TEforme, when I read posts like yours, I feel like you are a lucky woman to have found your husband. I'm 19 and losing TONS of hair, and I worry far too often that I will never find anyone because of my hairloss. I know that's pathetic but it's truly how I feel when I look at all the women around me with beautiful hair. I believe that you're so incredibly lucky to have someone like that to help you deal with your hairloss - I wish I did. I am sure that he loves you no matter what you look like. <3