Kind of an intro, but also a rant :0)

[Luc30]

I am not sure where to properly introduce myself since I'm new to the board. Anyway, hello everyone!

First of all I want to say that I'm very glad that this forum and this group exists. Dealing with hair loss/hair thinning is already traumatizing, but feeling alone makes it so much worst!

I will try to keep this brief...

I'm 30 years old now, however my mother has been warning me of a "gap" on the front of my hair right behind the bangs for at least 7 years. To be honest I didn't notice it because I have always had curly thick hair, that was best kept short and "hand combed" backwards. I prided myself on having the best low maintenance hair ever! I'm a bit of a tomboy, so spending tons of time on my hair was a no no.

Now that's changed. Recently I've been spending an enormous amount of time noticing how thin my hair has become, and how I'm starting to see bald spots directly on the spot my mother warned me about. It's become difficult to hide it....

Now, here's a rap up of what's going on:

I was diagnosed hypothyroid (initially sub clinical) but now my TSH is 8.2 which I am not sure it's sub clinical anymore, and was put on levothyroxine for 6 months now. I have been noticing that MAYBE the thinning has something to do with levothyroxine because I didn't worry so much about my hair 10 months ago - it didn't seem that bad.

I also have slightly elevated testosterone levels. Doc thinks I have Polycistic Ovarian - but I'm not willing to go on birth control.

However, 2009 was a horrifically bad year for me health wise. I was in and out of hospitals for what ended up being a two pronged attack: gynocological problem (now cured) and severe gastritis (working on it). I was under an immense amount of stress and serious depression during that time while dealing with a masters degree and financial problems to boot. Plus because I'm not a religious person, I kept the constant "this is because you don't go to church" speech from my family.

So I don't know if what triggered my current hair loss was all that stress. My thyroid, hormones and liver panels were high during that time - and while pretty much everything else stabilized, the thyroid remained screwed up.

Bottom line: I've been experiencing severe hair thinning (and off and on hair loss) for the past 4 months (that I've noticed). I've been depressed, and to be honest suicidal with sporadic moments of "I don't care! I'll just shave it off!", but then I just start crying again. I'm worried because I'm in my last semester of my masters degree, and I'm starting a new job that I really need to do well in.

What angers me right now is that my whole family has a full head of hair, including my sister in law who had her thyroid removed. She's on the same medication as I am but with much higher dosages. I'm also having a tough time convincing my friends of how detrimental to my health this is. My one friend who is graduating from med school said "get over it, if you see what I see everyday in hospitals you'd learn to stop thinking about just yourself."

Now I'm not vain (I'm a tomboy - seriously lol), nor am I selfish. I am sure plenty of women here volunteer, are great parents, or just generally good people. But come on...it's our hair!

The other "angry personality trait" I've come up with lately is a serious anger toward men, especially men who are SOOOO worried about losing their hair. Try being a woman and losing your hair for a change. I'm sorry, I'm sure they feel self conscious too, but they can sport a bald look while still getting respect, go on dates - life goes on for them much easier than it does for women dealing with this.

I am happy for women here who are married or have supportive partners - but what worries me the most is that I'm single, and that quite frankly...I feel like I don't belong "out there" anymore.

So....

I am considering stopping my levothyroxine, come what may. I really do think this made my possible stress-related (telogen?) worst. Secondly, through this site and various other sites I've compiled a couple of natural treatments: Saw palmetto, Fish Oil, Biotin, Primrose Oil and a daily vitamin. I also decided to take meditation classes because I admit I'm one of those people who FREAK OUT too soon, and adding stress on top of stress is only going to make things worst.

This is me in a nutshell! I'll keep posting!

Thanks!

Luc

[ForeverBlue]

Hello Luc,

First of all, you need to know that a side effect of Levothyroxin is hair loss. A lot of people don't know that. I have a thyroid problem, and will never take that, or synthroid, because i have talked to a lot of women who lost a lot of their hair while taking those 2 medications.

I can totally relate to your feelings of depression, anger, and suicidal thoughts. Something i'm not proud to admit, is that i tried to take my life twice in the last year, because of the depression from my hair loss, and thyroid disease. Nobody understands what it does to a person to slowly watch your hair disappear every day. Sometimes i think it would be easier if it all just fell out at once, so it would be over with. I have no support either, so i pretty much have to go it alone. I use to be very outgoing, and had self esteem. Now i never leave my house, unless it's absolutely neccesary, and i prefer to be alone. I feel like my life is just over. The stress i feel every day is just unbearable most of the time ( i do have moments like you said, where i say, screw it, i'll just shave it off, and get a wig ). But mostly, i just cry all the time, and wish i could go back in time to before this nightmare started, and i was happy.

I noticed you mention you might have cysts on your ovaries. You should really check into that more, because that also will cause hair loss to worsen. Having multiple health problems makes it hard to figure out what is causing the hair loss. It's probably a little bit of everything. I never knew so many things could cause hair loss, until it happened to me, and i did a lot of research, only to find that pretty much anything can trigger it.

This is a good place to come, so at least you won't feel so alone, or be told to just get over it. Anybody going through this knows how difficult it is. It's not something you can just get over. Having support really does help. Hang in there <Hug>

[Luc30]

I am truly sorry that you're going through so much. I think you are officially the strongest person I know. I feel alone most of the time too. I have friends but because they're not facing these problems - they don't know how to react around me, so they just tend to avoid me. My family is pretty quiet around me too. I've become a downer when I don't want to be - and the thoughts of suicide have become a daily occurrence. I know that in essence I'm only making it worst by being so worried. But I can't seem to concentrate my mind on anything but my hair. The only time I have any relief is when I'm asleep.

But still in many ways I have it much easier than you, and I'm amazed at your strength.

I am considering creating a Meetup group for women with hair loss in my area. Who knows, maybe if women hang around others like them they'll gain a little bit of confidence.

I'm wishing you luck!

L

[ForeverBlue]

Luc,

I know what you mean by only getting relief from thinking about your hair, when you are sleeping. Some days i actually count the hours until it will be night, and i can go to bed, and forget about my hair for a while. It's the only peace i have in my life right now. Of course, then there are those nights when i can't sleep because i'm too upset, and i lay there all night and think about what it will be like when i go bald. The stress from all this never seems to end. I often pray that i won't wake up the next morning, so i don't have to go through this anymore :-(

[Luc30]

I am so sorry that you're going through all of this! I keep you in my prayers every night, and hopefully we will all have a quick turn of luck. Lately I've come to terms with possibly losing all of my hair and have decided to take advice from one of the fine ladies here and go see Dov at Dov salon in NYC. I'm lucky that I live in Maryland and can take a trip up there. I am not sure what is going on with me, but at least for me not worrying about my hair may help me to get to the bottom of what's really going on inside my body. Right now, fighting the hair and the health is just a losing battle. I also understand how "flighty" friends can be. At this moment I can only count as real friends 2 people - out of the 7 I thought were really close friends. But I've found tons of support here and so much strength here that it's been helping me to overcome this obstacle.

If you have the opportunity, pick up a copy of Louise Hay's "You can heal your life". It has been a source of inspiration for me. I use the affirmations daily and at the very least, it allows me to calm the "freak outs".

I wish you much strength - don't give up yet!

Luc