I'm in a bad place!

[violamarie]

Hi, this is my first post here. I'm 28 yrs old and just becoming aware of my hair loss, which is most likely AGA.
It COULD be that I had a baby 8 months ago- oh how I want that to be true! But given my family history (grandma & 2 aunts with serious diffuse HL) and my PCOS...let's just say the deck is really stacked against me. My shedding has slowed from a couple months ago, but I lose 50ish hairs after each shower plus 1-2 every time I touch my hair during the day. I am in a bad place right now.
I sent photos to a hair loss specialist in Austin and he told me that he does see thinning in the crown. He will do a free consultation but I can't make the trip until November. In the meantime, he suggested Rogaine...which I am very hesitant to jump into.
I don't know whether to believe him or not. He does hair transplants- could he be biased? That's what I keep trying to tell myself. But on the other hand I'm thinking I need to accept the inevitable.
I think what scares me most is that this will take over my life. I was crying all day yesterday. I can't bring myself to tell my DH- I know he would think I'm paranoid at first, but ultimately I couldn't ask for a more supportive person. Yet I just can't bring myself to utter the words "I think I'm losing my hair". The words just stick in my throat.
Yesterday I actually caught myself thinking, "My kids don't really need me, do they?" My mental state is just bad. The worst part is knowing that I might spend countless dollars, hours, and tears waiting for various treatments to work...all to end up losing my hair anyway. My grandma wears a wig- the writing is on the wall. There is part of me that wants to skip the whole emotional roller coaster and just buy a wig right now. But I'm a RUNNER, how can I run in a topper or wig? It feels like I'm losing everything.
How do I keep this from ruining my life? I have 3 small children. I can't spend hours online all day every day looking for the miracle treatment. But I can think of nothing else. I can't even hear their precious voices...all I can hear is my own voice in my head screaming "my hair!"

How do I post pics? I need someone objective to tell me the truth about how bad this is.

[Babyzoo]

Hi Violamarie - This is my first post here, as well. I am 44 and just started losing my hair a few months ago. Nobody in my family or friends believed me because they said they couldn't see it, but I saw it. I saw it go down the shower drain every day. The first thing I did was to see a dermatologist and get a diagnosis. I have Telogen Effluvium...I am lucky enough to have been told that it's not permanent, but I still have alot of shedding to go through until it stops and my hair starts to grow back.

I know how you feel about thinking that your hair loss will take over your life, and it will ONLY if you let it. You need to remind yourself that there is more to who you are than just your hair. Yes, it is easier said than done. I have my good days and my bad days (yesterday was a really bad day). I cry it out and then try to move on.

I did buy a wig in the beginning because I wanted to wear it on a vacation we were taking with some of my family. It was a celebratory vacation as my 23 year old son was diagnosed with lymphoma in August 2009 and he is recovering very nicely. In Dec 2009, chemo took his hair after 10 days, and on the 11th day, he took the rest and shaved his head. I didn't look at him any differently and neither did his friends. True friends and caring family will not care if you wear a wig or have lost all your hair, all they will care about is if you are happy or not. If you are not happy, go get yourself a wig. I had to do a lot of shopping around to find a good salon. I called them and found out they specialized in cancer patients. I wanted a salon that allowed me the privacy to try on any wigs I wanted without the fear and embarrassment of being watched by others.

I took a friend with me who I knew for a fact would be brutally honest with me. For me, I wanted someone to tell me if the wig looked good or if I needed to try a different style or color or whatever. She even tried wigs on with me to help lighten the atmosphere.

At the end of the appointment, I found a wig that was very close to the cut and color of the picture I had in my head of one of my "good hair day". I left the salon with my chin up and my confidence much stronger than it was when I initially walked in the salon. There is no "right" or "wrong" time to get a wig...it's what works for you! This is all about you and nobody else, so embrace it!

I wore the wig home and when my husband returned home from work, we spoke for over 5 minutes and he didn't say a word. I was almost crushed! (almost!)...so I asked him what he thought....he said "about what"...I told him I was wearing a wig. He said it looked so much like how I usually wore my hair that he couldn't even tell it was a wig! My confidence shot up when he said that (and he's not one to give compliments very often). My son saw me with the wig on and he said it looked good.

I've been back to the salon two other times to get the cut "just right" and to have them help me make sure I am wearing it properly. The ladies there were wonderful and compassionate!

I wear the wig when I go out and have received so many compliments from men and women...(strangers)....and it's up to me whether I want to let them know it's a wig or not...and actually, it's none of their business, so I just accept the compliment and add another notch to my self-esteem! To me, the wig is an accessory like my make-up, earrings or my rings. I put it on when I want to look and feel my best, and I take it all off when I am at home.

Just remember, if you get a synthetic wig, when the weather is hot and humid, you will be the best looking woman out there when everyone else's hair is on the frizz!

If you want to work out with the wig, speak to the women in the salon when you go to purchase your wig and they should be able to guide you on ways to be able to look good and still maintain your active lifestyle.

Just remember that you will have good days and bad days....and eventually, you will have more good than bad, and things won't look so bleak.

If you embrace who you are and what's happening to you, those who care about you will keep embracing you, too

I hope I've helped you a a little bit....and if you need a boost or need someone or someplace to vent...you know you can always come here!

Best of luck to you!! :)