bad shed days

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by twinmom, Mar 3, 2014.

  1. lorilei

    lorilei New Member

    Better Days

    Hi LM and Twinmom,

    Today seems to be a better day than yesterday in regards to hair fall. I definitely see a difference on days when I am feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed! So, today I am trying to relax about things, and "mindfully" embrace the day:) I am 51, and have been through this before about ten years ago. This time is much worse because of age (ugh!), and the kind of stressors involved. I really believe that there are several different issues going on. From what I have seen so far, hormonal changes, stress, and lack of nutrition and exercise can cause TE which if left unchecked for a long time, can trigger AGA. That's where I am now.

    It really is SO difficult to relax and be "okay" with this happening. Especially the way society judges our appearance. WOW! What pressure! But, having experienced this again, and with more ferocity, I can honestly say that after doing everything we can to eliminate the cause of our hair loss, acceptance and confidence in who we ARE (not only how we look) will go a long way, and speed up recovery:)

    Having said that, I am getting my hair cut next week REALLY short. I mean like Victoria Beckham's cute pixie a few years ago(yikes!). I am VERY nervous, but it is time! I will do the best with what I have.

    I hope you both have a great weekend, and LM-have a blessed day with your daughter. All my best to you both:)
  2. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Hi Lorilei so pleased you are having a better shed day! I'm still getting used to my short hair! It's a very strange feeling! Yours sounds like it's going to be super cute!

    My shedding has not been too bad just the odd strand here and there whilst doing housework! Daughter number 2 (12 year old step daughter) went missing this evening for three hours! We found her safe and well but I'm selfishly really cross as I got so worked up I will pay for this tomorrow no doubt with a shed!

    I agree about diet, exercise, and state of mind. I'm convinced this is all a bigger factor than we think! I've been taking my vitamins religiously and I hope these are going to help. Also been trying to keep super hydrated with a target of 2ltrs of water a day! All gotta help :)

    Hope you are both having a nice day! It's 8 here in the uk and I could quite happily drop into bed after the day I've had!! Kids hey!! X
  3. lorilei

    lorilei New Member

    Hi LM:)

    I hope my new cut will work on me. I'm a little nervous about the whole "age appropriate" thing and all! But, I still have a young attitude (so my son tells me). I'm going for it (LOL!).

    What a terrifying experience you had with your step-daughter! SO scary. I am happy that you found her, and everything turned out well; not always the case, so very good:). Hopefully you will not suffer any set backs tomorrow. Keep me informed of your progress:)

    Water is a great reminder. Thank you. I tend to get dehydrated during the day without even thinking about it. I just got a glass of the H2O instead of reaching for that sugary soda. That is progress in and of itself! It sounds like you are having a really good hair day. That's AWESOME! Now if kids would cooperate...right??

    It's 5:00 now in USA. I think I'll make for myself a cup of hot peppermint tea instead of pouring that glass of wine (LOL!). Take good care, and all my best.
  4. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Hey I'm not having a good day :-( it was hair wash day haha. Not too bad about 100 hairs all day but still upsetting none the less.

    The thing that's really getting me down is the thinness all over but on top more there's just no regrowth and I've lost all the short hairs there were they just came out over the course of the last week? Do you know if this is normal?

    I just feel so frustrated and deflated today my partner is getting to his wits end with my subdued mood. I can't help it but I just fear he will leaves for someone else if I lose anymore hair I think it just. Ant be attractive to him.

    I really wants thyroid rechecked but my GP said not until May, I have other signs of hyperthyroidism though such as fatigue and really dry skin. I spent most of last summer at the GP about my skin and tiredness.

    Sorry this is a bit of a low post just needed to vent!

    Hope you have had a good day :) you sounded so positive yesterday it was lovely to read xxx
  5. lorilei

    lorilei New Member

    Hi LM.

    I am SO sorry you are having a bad day. I know all about "hair wash" day. It is excruciating! Every time I wash my hair I have a complete meltdown. The thinness on top is what really gets me down, as well. That is why I am going to have it cut in a "pixie" style. That way, with some styling paste I can move it around a bit and hide some of the thinness. Otherwise, it is a "lose-lose". What I mean is, there are hairs growing in that we can't yet see. They aren't coming in at the same time. Nor are they long enough to see a difference yet. The other thing I have noticed is that if there is a hair follicle that is still active (like little dots on your scalp) then that is a very good sign. It means the hair will re-grow. It hasn't become dormant. But it takes SO much time! That's the worse part of this - waiting. It's the "what do I do in the meantime" that's so distressing:( That's why I am going to cut my hair short and in layers; so I can manipulate it a bit. Also, when it is long AND thin, it is virtually impossible to comb through it without pulling it out. It's like a wet, tangled ball of thread! All the tugging of the comb pulls it out; then we get VERY anxious and upset; then we have more shedding because of the anxiety (yikes!). It's a vicious cycle.

    I know exactly what you mean about being "unattractive". I feel the same way. But, the other day, I finally accepted the fact that I am doing everything I can to stop my hair loss. I am getting exercise, watching my diet VERY closely, and sleeping seven to eight hours at night. Now it is time to "trust the process". It is VERY slow. And we have to be VERY patient. And if your boyfriend really loves you, he WILL wait with you.

    I asked my hubby a question the other night. I asked him, "would you rather have someone who is constantly thrashing about, being an emotional wreck with a FULL head of hair - or would you rather have someone who is kind, calm, and loving, with NO hair at all"?? His response was this: "Seriously? That's a no-brainer. Do you think I'm THAT shallow?" LOL! Maybe you can ask your boyfriend something along the same line; I bet he would say something close:)

    Everything you are experiencing is normal. Really, it is. I have been through it before. It IS a terrifying experience. But, your hair WILL grow back. I have to remind myself of that, too; every hour of every day! You are also still young, so that is a VERY good thing!

    And, no worries about the venting; that's what we need:). All my best to you.
  6. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    I started shedding big time recently and also am now losing new hairs....Started counting shower drain hair yesterday; got to 50 and stopped and still had at least that many more....I'm at that rope too, Twin. And considering at least a topper...
  7. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    hi ladies ive not much to say today just feeling a bit down and deflated. i miss feeling pretty and myself again. hope youre doing better :)
  8. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Hi ladies hope you are all ok!

    Thanks Lorilei your message really helped me and perked me up! :)

    Sorry your not having a good day twinmom :-( those days are awful. I had a very bad few days over the weekend after my haircut. Today's been good but I have that awful burning and tingling sensation back on my head :-(

    I heard back from my Derm about my keratin blowdry theory and she said it's highly unlikely as she's not heard of it before and she's still going with stress.

    I've changed my diet quite a bit I'm now completely alcohol free instead f reducing it an I've stopped eating wheat and dairy and am ploughing away with my supplements.

    I've been opening up to a few people at work and they are so lovey and sympathetic.

    How are you getting on with your topper?

    Lorilei when are you having your new do? Look forward to hearing from you both xx
  9. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    I'm still shedding and fear taking a shower later (but if I go on the treadmill, which I do every other day, I will HAVE to shower). I bought a hand-held mirror today to get a better look at my hair and am somewhat shocked that my husband did NOT tell me there is literally a bald spot on the top (slightly to the back). I do not feel pretty either; haven't for some time now. And very ashamed.
  10. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Hi KrazyKat

    We all dread shower days so I can completely sympathise with you. I'm sorry about your patch has your doctor seen it?

    Sorry you are feeling so low, hairloss is horrible for what it does to your self esteem. I find work days hard at the prospect of going into a neon lit office!

    Xx
  11. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    Thanks so much LM; I feel a tad better and am really comforted to have people who truly sympathize...Wish I didn't feel so not-so-cute-at-all.

    As for the patch: I haven't seen the dermatologist yet; my first appointment is next week--I don't even have a diagnosis yet, but have been losing hair for two years and it has really escalated this past month.

    I just worked out then took a shower. There were only 12 hairs in drain, however, after I very gently (with very large tooth comb) groomed it (and used a tiny bit of Argan Oil), there were at least 40 hairs in my hand when I removed it from my head (only put Argan oil halfway up from ends of hair, and about 15 in the sink. I can't believe I started counting my hairs; is this somewhat "normal" to count your hairs?

    I will be getting my Nioxin System 4 on Friday and (fingers crossed), it works.

    I bought some zinc and l-lysine today (was going to buy saw palmetto, but ran out of money), and have been taking 2 multi-vitamins per day. I am going to wait to buy Iron until I have my bloodwork; maybe if it is low, my doctor can prescribe it?

    I'm wondering if being on a diet is making it worse? While I really don't need to lose weight (well, maybe 3-5 pounds--currently have a BMI of 20.4), due to my height (5'1") I consume 1350 or less calories per day in order to lose one pound a week; and on the days I work out, once I deduct calories burned, sometimes my "net calories" are about 900. I actually lost 4 pounds in the past 10 days... I'm going to start a thread re: weight loss and repeat this paragraph....
  12. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    I've heard good things about nioxin! I think it will be better for you once you've seen someone, I've read so many places it's normal to lose 100 hairs a day so 40-50 might be ok for you.

    Have you had any blood work done yet? That will give you a good indication if you're deficient in anything.

    Do you mind me asking what age range you are in? Hair loss has so many triggers. I hope you get on ok this week until your appointment I know it's really hard but this forum is great when you are having not so great days. I've found a lot of comfort and support here. Xx
  13. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Also as for counting the hairs I'm terrible for doing this too! I get about 70 in the shower and about 40 in my brush outs, on bad days I even keep a mental tally of the ones on my desk/clothes/chair etc!! :-(

    I'm really not convinced mine is stress but I seem to have hit a wall with medical people! Here in the UK our systems are so stretched and behind the times! Anything like hair loss as deemed as cosmetic which infuriates me as I've been so low now for about four months! It's ruined Christmas, birthdays all sorts! It's Mother's Day here on Sunday and I'm going to put ALL my energy into my gorgeous little girl. She's six and deserves better from me! Xxx
  14. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    I sure hope the nioxin helps LM. Bloodwork will be ordered by my dermatologist next Wednesday. I am 48 years old and I don't think I'm even in the perimenopause period yet. And I think stressing out so bad about my hair is just making the shed worse.... Beauty shop tomorrow -- going lighter...I think I might take before and after pics because my hair looks so terrible brown/grey that I sure hope it looks a little thicker, lighter!
  15. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    Comforting I'm not getting OCD with the hair counting! I probably (judging by the shower, the sinktop, the comb, my pillow, the floor) have been losing about 150 a day. I am getting to where I'd rather not go into public unless I really have to. Fancy wedding in June--I will most likely wear a topper unless something magical happens to my head! I'm sorry you have a sluggish medical system there. I don't consider hair loss cosmetic!
  16. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    I think it's just a heightened awareness of hair fallout makes you notice it all the time. I had a shower last night and I tried not to pay too much attention but I can feel all the strands coming away in my hand.

    I'm the same I have two weddings in May and June this year and I am dreading them if mine gets much worse I'll have to look into something too.

    I flat refuse to have my photo taken at the moment as I just don't want to see me if that make sense! Anyway hope you are ok today and having better hair days. Xx
  17. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    Hi ladies
    Boy can I relate! I count my hairs too. The kicker is that before I knew what fpb and hairloss was I shed wayyy more and didn't think anything of it. It's because now I think my hair growth has slowed and I'm loosing it faster than I grow it that I'm obsessing over the loss.
    The worst area that's upsetting is my bangs because it makes it hard to style and even more upsetting is the tiny strands of supposed new growth. It's no longer fun to style either.

    LM happy Mother's Day!!!! Try to enjoy your day knowing that your little girl will one day know what you've been through and look up to you. Just enjoy,
    For the wedding would you consider a wig?im trying to make the jump and buy one to try we should do it together! I've been looking at godivas secret wigs online in California. Let me know what you think of them. Look under mono wigs. If not maybe a topette would help ?
  18. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    And I wonder if stressing about the hair counts/loss is just making more stress-related loss? I'm the type that suppresses stress big time and have a hard time with even normal day-to-day loss (bipolar). The june wedding I'm concerned about is our daughters--over 300 people--and (step) mother of the bride here will have to be "on display" and chatty with everyone. And me--I rarely let someone photograph me! Hope your day goes well, too!
  19. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat New Member

    A topper is definitely in my arsenal for the wedding! If the wedding were this week, I wouldn't consider it as I just had my hair color changed to blonde and it really looks much better....BUT...the wedding is 3 months away and who knows how much hair I MIGHT lose by then. I have to wash my hair today and will start using the Nioxin System 4 kit...apprehensive to wash, but it needs it!
  20. LM_83

    LM_83 Member

    Hi ladies
    Hope you are well.

    I had a lovely mothers day weekend with my daughter. This is the first occasion so far this year I haven't stressed about my hair. I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't in the back of my mind but I took her out for the day - we both got all dressed up and it was lovely.

    I've noticed an ease in the shedding the last couple of days, I had a shower this morning and didn't lose as much. I'm still delaying styling though :)

    I've been thinking of a band for the weddings, the worst part of my hair is my part. It's very very thin and I'm worried about being outside in daylight as both are summer weddings. I've also looked at hair fibres to fill it in a bit more.

    I had a home facial yesterday and I put a band on to pull my hair back. On my front hairline I noticed quite a few very very very short hairs. It almost looked a bit like stubble. No more than a mm in length. I'm really hoping this is regrowth and not my imagination!!

    I am really struggling with my seborrheic dermatitis though, I just cant get the flakes at the back of my head off and its very very thin there where I know the hair cannot grow back until i get all this scaling off. I know that sounds really gross though!!

    Good luck with your wig shopping twinmom. I'm in the UK and haven't found much in the way of wigs or hair pieces yet but in the town I work there is now a salon that specialise in hairloss treatments too!! :) Lots of wigs and advice. I popped in there and the lady mentioned she could perhaps thicken my hair out for the wedding with some gentle extensions.

    I agree about the stress KrazyKat and I hope that you are not too stressed about your daughters wedding. But appreciate that will be alot of pressure for you! I was diagnosed with stress induced TE, but I dont think I've ever been more stressed in my life from Dec onwards this year coping with the hairloss and i'm thinking thats probably why I am still shedding now. It's a very vicious cycle.

    Hope you both have a good day xx