Please advise. I had a child tell me today, "You and my gramma have the same hair in back." Well, her gramma has long, silky, reddish brown straight hair. I have short, bobbed, coarse wavy dark brown hair. Obviously Gramma (60+ years old) and I (39) have the same bald spot. I didn't react but I took pictures of my scalp this afternoon while waiting in the doctor's office and was absolutely devastated. I've been avoiding looking at myself in the back in the mirror for two years, like weeds in a garden. The hair loss spread. Everyone's been lying to me too, and I can't blame them. I cried and cried in front of the doctor. I came home and lost it too. And then, I just couldn't take it anymore. I just can't. I've been losing my hair since I was 27. I might have been able to stop it if I'd taken it seriously, but I didn't. I have had shock alopecia a few times, but in 2010 I had a traumatic car accident, and my lovely, long hair fell out and now I have maybe half of that left. I just can't be sad about this anymore. I also have experienced facial numbness from a long term vitamin deficiency...so there are a lot more issues, besides genetics, I am really worn out. I just gave in. I'm going to have a wig. Why not? Staring at my hair, grieving over it, wishing it would grown, being jealous of others, feeling unloveable...it's not making my hair grow back. I can have pretty hair now, can't I? It's okay if it's not mine, but maybe the lovely hair of some lucky Ukrainian woman? (I love Ukraine anyway.) Why can't I feel pretty now instead of grief stricken? I'm not kidding, the accident aged me, the pain and sadness. I look older too. Why torture myself with grieving over hair I can't get back? I can have nice hair now!!!! I need your help please. Getting a wig, I mean, I've never even considered it before. But I just accepted it so easily today, I am a little bit disturbed by that. To go from not thinking or even considering it or thinking it was a horrifying idea to now thinking, oh my God, let's get some pretty faux hair right now and feel good about myself... I need to know: Can I swim with a wig on? Is there a better type of wig for swimming? How do I keep from having my wig blow off in the wind? If I don't want to tell my boyfriend (I'm currently single...but in the future) that I have a wig, is there a wig design or something that you know, can't be pulled off or seems undetectable? Do good wigs give an attempt at showing a scalp? Seriously, I'd much rather have them sew in fake dandruff than not have a hair part/scalp appearance. I'm very insecure after all of this, the accident, the grieving over that, the pain, the aging, etc...having a breakup...I don't want anyone to know. My scalp hurts in back lately. More so when I'm stressed. Can I keep my hair under a wig? I'm not ready to shave it. And I'm so done with it that I don't want a topper. Can you sleep in a wig? Thank you for reading my letter. I was so worried about coming on here. Sometimes forums get depressing or discouraging and make me more frantic, but this one is so wonderful. And that list of wig sites, I am so thankful. Truly, I adore Ukraine and have been there, and it's a life long interest, and one of the first sites I saw was Alegria wigs. I felt relief when I saw that, and then I thought, wow, I can have Ukrainian hair!!! Thank you!