I've had a terrible day today. I had a bit of an emergency in my apartment complex because of which i couldn't style my hair. so when i got to the office, I quickly flat ironed my hair and pulled it back in a pony tail. I skipped my 40 minute styling ritual that ensures that my hair looks healthy. I was explaning something to my co-worker and she suddenly blurted out that "you have lost hair" while staring straight at my head. I was pretty taken back! i had been very conscious all morning but didn't expect anyone to say anything. She wasn't being mean or anything, infact she was concerned. but it brought back bad memories of having my so-called buddies in college telling me "hey buddy you are going bald!" or "what's with your hair". gosh i used to f@#in hate that! what part of this is FUNNY?? because i am fuckin bald, it's somehow a joke or it's somehow my fault. Yes i have hair loss and I KNOW IT!! you don't have to rub it in my face. Several years ago a friend's OBESE wife (but with long gorgeous locks) told me the same thing. "heheeh sara you are going bald heheheheh", i wanted to scream "really bitch, you are fat and rude, no wonder you are headed towards divorce" (incidently she did get divorced). my culture is freakin obsessed with long luscious locks and i am dreading the trip back home because i will meet my in-laws for the first time and my hubby's uncouth cousins/family will def point it out or try to joke about it. They already hate me because ours wasn't an arranged marriage. Several years ago, my hubby was married to his cousin(arranged marriage) and it didn't work out so they divorced. The family is still bitter and unforgiving about i and can't wait to meet the woman-who-is-better-than-our-choice and make her miserable. to further complicate things, the ex-wife's sister is married to my husband's older brother and of course she has been practising all year to rip-me apart. So as you can imagine the family is UNCOUTH and UNCULTURED, like even in my cultre ppl no longer marry cousins. it's such a thing of the past. something that was done in my grandmother's era. how messed up do you have to be to force your children to marry their aunt's kids. ewwwwww. anyways, I am going off on a completely different tangent. I am just mad and sad and hurt and scared.