'get over it'

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by RhiannonAlexis, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. RhiannonAlexis

    RhiannonAlexis New Member

    Im reading allot of the posts and it makes me so angry that more people have to go through the 'its not as bad as you think' or 'get over it' speech...

    I get that from everyone... my mum also has female pattened baldness, she also tells me its not a big deal and im overreacting yet you can tell everytime she looks in the mirror that it gets to her... its infuriating...
    Im emotionally ruined most days because of this and they tell me its nothing.

    Its hard to accept, my mum has this but my dad and the rest of my family dont. Why us? Why me?

    I hope all of you find something, a solution, anything that may help you out...
    I really feel for everyone on here. Its nice to know theres other women out there though. :>
  2. ForeverBlue

    ForeverBlue New Member

    I really hate the " It's only hair, get over it " speeches. If only it was that easy, and if it was, none of us would be on a website like this !!!!!!!!!!!
  3. RhiannonAlexis

    RhiannonAlexis New Member

    Exactly, its so hard to hear someone say that its nothing and i should just get over it and the next someone is laughing about it... Its a weird world, and its a frustrating one... I wouldnt wish it upon anyone but itd be nice for them to understand what its like
  4. liselle

    liselle New Member

    my mom says this all the time. :rolleyes:
  5. BettyG

    BettyG New Member

    I know what you mean Rhiannon, nobody wants to be told that they can't be upset about something that makes such an impact on their life. What we all deal with here causes a range of emotions, and nothing's wrong with that. You know, it's kind of like the five stages of grief. What were they... denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (my old psych teacher would be proud).

    Personally, I think I'm still in the bargaining stage. Nobody's gonna tell me I can't find some way to beat this thing.
  6. RhiannonAlexis

    RhiannonAlexis New Member

    Same here bettyg... im in both 3rd and 4th stages... though the 4ths always been there. I cant deal with hearing that its not that bad.. i heard it 20 minutes ago again... i cracked it, it was uncontrollable. I feel bad because i know she was only trying to make me feel better, but nobody but myself and others who go through this can make me feel better about it..

    I wish they'd get that through their heads haha. I can only really help myself
  7. AnnieM09

    AnnieM09 New Member

    I completely understand what you are feeling. I have come to a sometimes acceptance for myself, but I am terrified that my daughter may have inherited my problem.
  8. Gemfish

    Gemfish New Member

    Any of you girls UK girls who have been told this by their doctors? If so, I really need to hear from you.
  9. Luc30

    Luc30 New Member

    I ended a friendship because of this "get over it" attitude

    The problem with hair loss is that there is no real understanding of the causes, and no real or quick cure for it. Think about it, men have been going bald since the dawn of time - you would think that by now someone would have come up with a cure. But the truth is, the medical establishment will not bother with this. The reality is that yes, hair loss will not kill you. You may kill yourself over it - but the hair loss itself will not kill you or cause other medical problems. They won't do anything about it. Our hopes lie with corporations who want to make money with a cure.

    Anyway, because of the lack of cures people don't know how to comfort someone. Furthermore, hair loss scares everyone! It's proof that we don't have control over everything in life, and people don't like that. But people, especially friends, family should be kinder.

    My "best friend" is a doctor. I was told over and over to "get over it" by her, because she sees people on a daily basis in much worst situations - which is true, but that's not the point. Either way, she flat out told me that she cannot help me. I did not ask her for help - I just asked her to listen.

    If you can come to accept yourself, and believe that it is not a big deal - great! we should all aspire to that for the many things in life that do not go perfectly as we planned. But others should not be demeaning the level of your frustration, sadness, and loss. What you feel is a valid response to what is happening to you. Hair loss for women is life changing. I do not think men can claim the same. Their society (we have different ones) accepts anyway they look - ours, not so kind.

    Be kind to yourself, and that starts with accepting every flow of emotion that comes with this unexpected and unwelcome event.

    Luciana