Hey girls....Im back

Discussion in 'Open Topic (General)' started by Alicia Temple, Jun 18, 2015.

  1. Alicia Temple

    Alicia Temple Member

    To all who read my post in the past, I came really close to losing it. I almost came close to going to a hospital for how suicidal I was. I really apologize to all who read my last post. I was at the breaking point. I really couldnt take it anymore. It just goes to show how this hairloss demon has such a grip on most of us. I blame society. If there wasnt such pressure on woman to look a certain way all the time, no matter where we are or who we are, I do believe we wouldn't be going through this. I truly send my thanks to those who wrote there support. Even that one poster (you know who you are) who contacted a suicidal hotline for me. Just so all of you know if I havent mentioned it before: I am actually 29. To me, having this at this age has been hard. Especially while being around young woman who have thick heads of hair. Not that Im saying that its harder than older woman. Im not saying that at all.
    Again...thank you to all those who kept me in there prayers. I apologize.
  2. petey3

    petey3 Member

    Alicia, I'm so glad you are still around! No apologies necessary! I completely understand how devastating this hair loss hell can be. I spent all day the other day wishing I could just disapear. My poor husband was really worried. I explained to him that it is like losing a limb, only instead of losing an arm in a horrible accident or cancer or surgery, you are losing slices of it everyday. Everyday I am losing pieces of my femininity, youth, vitality, health... Pieces of my identity. Who I am and how the world sees me. Amputees sometimes suffer from phantom limb syndrome. I feel like I have "phantom hair syndrome". I still feel like my hair should be there. I wake up every morning and just for a moment I forget. Then I have to get up and go to the bathroom and see myself in the mirror and shower and lose more hair. Rinse, lather, repeat. Everyday the same thing. It's awful! Sometimes I wish it would all just come out at once and then I would just have to deal with it and move on. Instead you are stuck in a kind of limbo where you are constantly, anxiously, waiting to see just how bad it is going to get. Add to that, what I truly believe is a hormonal component and you are just a bundle of nerves and raging hormones. I understand you must be exhausted. Living in a constant state of anxiety and despair is exhausting. Please know that we are here for you and we know what you are going through as we are all going through it as well. It is a sisterhood that I would give anything not to belong to but nonetheless there are stories of courage and hope and inspiration to be found here. Wishing you all the best. Hugs to you and be well. Did you send in your request for an activation code? It may take awhile.
    TooYoungForThis likes this.
  3. Annie78

    Annie78 New Member

    You are kind. I'm going to follow you. I feel the exact same as you. I keep saying, "I cannot do this again!". I have lost all confidence. I feel like I want to throw up everyday. I cannot believe how much hair I have lost in a month. This condition is debilitating physically and mentally.
  4. Annie78

    Annie78 New Member

    I understand your devastation. I truly do. I wish I could go to a place for a few months and be with others going through alopecia. At least we have this forum.
  5. Alicia Temple

    Alicia Temple Member

    Hey petey3. No, I have not received an invitation code yet. I sent 2 of them months ago and still haven't gotten one. As annie78 said, you really are kind. One with a gentle heart. A rarety indeed.
  6. Annie78

    Annie78 New Member

    We all must continue to follow up and support each other.
  7. petey3

    petey3 Member

    Hang in there, I had to send in my request twice. Unfortunately, I think that there are just a lot of us out there and maybe it takes awhile? I know quite a few of us just got our codes. In the mean time, I just keep checking back here...
  8. Annie78

    Annie78 New Member

    Have a nice Father's Day, my supporters. I woke up thinking today was going to me a good day. I looked in the mirror and had five brows or lashes on my cheeks. It's taking all my strength to not pull a Brittany and shave my head.
  9. leap

    leap Member

    No judgments to "losing it" . We literally all are. You need to have an outlet; a safe place where you can be free to "lose it" Being free to fall apart, to burst at the seams is necessary to rebuild ourselves. I have experienced every thought you have. That in itself is slightly comforting; to know you aren't crazy. You aren't paranoid. You aren't wrong. You are going through an amputation of self identity. How is that not a big deal? Why do thousands of woman secretly convene on a website to find support? Because its a big deal. BUT heres the good news: You are going to overcome this with a hair loss solution you can accept and move on with your life. And when you do.... you will have super hero strength to face anything in life.
    petey3 likes this.
  10. Annie78

    Annie78 New Member

    Thank you. Your words were kind. Right now, I feel broken.
  11. Alicia Temple

    Alicia Temple Member

    Within my last breakdown I feel that God has givin me some peace. I wouldn't say I have accepted it but I am managing, finally. Lets see how long this lasts.
  12. leap

    leap Member

    Wanted to share something I discovered that makes my wig completely impossible to detect. I clip in wig right behind the hair line. Then I take my bio hair and tie it into the wig with two side braids and pull the braids back and attach them with a clip. I look hot. And I feel confident..........in my bathroom. Now I need to figure out how to date men with it and reveal it. One step at a time. It took me a a year and a half to feel confident in the bathroom.