How will I cope?

Discussion in 'Open Topic (General)' started by Alicia Temple, Jul 11, 2015.

  1. Alicia Temple

    Alicia Temple Member

    So, the obsession begins again.

    I look in the mirror as I brush my hair. I see the balding spots. I touch the top of my head. I feel my scalp and my fingers easily can feel it through the thin hair. I remember the time when I got my hair cut short to try to make it look thicker. My husband gave me a disappointed look when I returned home. Hes told me plenty of times how much he loves my hair and redhead in general. Don't get me wrong, he really is a great guy...but.....it saddens me to think that one day when I get the courage to ask him that simple question.

    "Do you still find me as pretty as when you first met me? Tell me the truth."

    Will he? I know that this won't be a deal breaker for him. He tolerated it when I cut my hair but the thought of him not being attracted to me.....I don't know how I will feel. My heart sinks at the mere thought. I mean, I rarely hear him compliment me except when I dress up and put makeup on. He's not much of a romantic.

    What should I do?
  2. petey3

    petey3 Member

    Oh, Alicia...I know it's hard...I ask myself the same question all the time...have you asked your husband how he feels about your hairloss? Does he tell you that he loves you for you and not your hair? Do you feel like because he doesn't often compliment you but has complimented you on your hair in the past that that's the only thing he finds attractive about you? I'm sure that's not the case but I understand how hard it is to feel attractive or desired when all you see is your hairloss. Do you think maybe he is more worried about you not being "yourself" anymore because of all of the anxiety and sadness surrounding your hairloss? I know my husband just really worries about me and hates seeing me so sad all the time. If I "lose myself" to my hairloss battle I think he'll care more about that than the hair. Maybe your husband feels the same way? People grow and change over time. No couple ever looks the same as they did the day they met or got married. We all wish we could though...of course but we chose to be with our partners. Through all of the changes. I hope he understands how much you need for him to help you through this and to make you feel loved and secure and beautiful because this is not something you can control and it makes everything feel out of control and even if he notices or feels the loss of your hair you need for him to still tell you that he loves you for you and needs you and desires you always. All the best...
    Baker likes this.