I feel like just shaving it all off now

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by divinem, Jun 13, 2009.

  1. divinem

    divinem New Member

    I don't like feeling powerless or like a victim. I don't like the way my head itches because I'm in the midst of an active shed. I swear, I'm tempted to just take a shaver to it and get it over with. I have a pretty face that can pull off stark looks.

    I am so mad!! But I'm also grateful that I've at least found this support forum -- to know I'm not alone. But I have to say I'm partly horrified at what my future may hold in terms of hair loss. Is this just the beginning? Will my whole scalp be visible b4 it's all said and done?

    * sigh *

    There's nothing to really say. My husband loves my hair, which makes this very difficult, but I know he would support my decision. He doesn't think it's time to shave it off.

    Just rambling on here. Thanks for listening.

    ~Melissa
  2. Angela

    Angela Moderator

    When you're ready hon, the answers will come to you as to what feel you need to do with your hair. Whether its a wig, topper or chrome domed, you'll rock it no matter what.
    Even if your husband doesn't feel you are ready, the choice needs to be yours and yours alone. Its about your own empowerment and control.
    If you are moving in the direction of shaving it off, you can get your husband more familiarized with the bald look on women. On the Network I started a group called "Bald Beauties" for that purpose. It was just a place for me to put all the different women with no hair.
    There is also another group called "Buzzed Beauties" started by Anita (WeeWee), but I'm unsure if she has added new pictures of women that have chosen the buzzed look.
    In the Bald Beauties group I also posted a few photo slides that someone made of bald women. He has a very beautiful collection.
  3. pamiam

    pamiam New Member

    I am right there with you. My DH keeps saying, "it will stop, and you don't need a wig." But it's been six years of this and it has never been as bad as it is now. I feel so helpless. I hate trying to get ready. It's so devasatating. I literally cannot comb my hair. My scalp hurts so bad! I have to go back to work in a month and I can't even let my hair down! I see myself shaving it off but what then? My DH loved my long thick hair too. This is so difficult I know. Know you are not alone.

    Hugs.
  4. Kirthi

    Kirthi New Member

    I wanted to...

    In the middle of an crazy shedding phase, I just wanted to shave what was left of my hair out. I did the closest thing. I went back to my hairdresser, who is a sweetheart, and told her to cut the thing off to about one inch off my scalp. She did. I watched the 4-5 inches long hair fall to the floor and curl into pretty black, shining locks of hair and I just wanted to cry, so much that my jaw hurt from it. At the end of the hair cut, I had short, short hair that curled close to my scalp. I went home and bawled into my pillow for hours. The next day, I felt better about it. The short hair covered my scalp better and fell out less often.
    Should you shave you hair? I don't think you should. Cut it? I think you should try. Try a really short style. That way you still have your hair, but the idea will grow on you. Expect to be emotional about it. We're taught to equate long, glossy hair with beauty. But you'll find a new you at the end of it all.
    Anyone who is outside of you and doesn't experience hairfall cannot understand. If it feels right to you, do it. Your hair will grow back (or we can hope it will).
  5. feelingwiggy

    feelingwiggy New Member

    I'm with you , I want to shave and be done with it, styling, coloring, but ... I know I it's not time for that yet. I read that wearing a wig and topper will accelerate the loss, which at this point is not an issue for me. My very thin crown and bangs are a mess to look at. The only thing holding me back would be I still have a good amount of hair in back and sides.
  6. Angela

    Angela Moderator

    Lately I've been wondering myself how long I should wait till I shave mine off again. My hair loss has begun again, but it isn't at that point where I would shave it.
    My problem is that I always waited till it was so bad I couldn't stand it anymore. I'd walk around with extremely thin hair. I'm contemplating doing it before it gets too thin and just be done with it.
    I don't know why I felt the need in the past to wait till it was really horrible to shave it. :eek:
  7. Athenai

    Athenai New Member

    Me too!!

    This was good for me to read because I have been thinking myself that I might at some point just shave my head and then wear wigs. I don't know about the summer! It would be uncomfortable to wear a wig when it is warm. Maybe then wear a Turkish scarf.

    The other day I was reading something about Bobbie Darin, the singer from the Sixties. Anyhow, it said that he lost his hair very young and always wore a toupee. This somehow helped my attitude a little. I figured if Bobbie Darin, a then very well known and loved singer, could deal with hair loss, that I might be able to survive myself. Athenais
  8. Angela

    Angela Moderator

    I keep forgetting to post the video of my husband shaving it all off. LOL I couldn't wait for anymore to fall out and I knew it would happen, so I just went ahead and let him shave it.
    I'll try to remember to post it tomorrow. :>
  9. BettyG

    BettyG New Member

    I just shaved mine off for the first time. I was so tired of waking up every morning and wondering what the shower drain would collect today... I dunno, maybe it was a little drastic but I hate feeling powerless.

    Anyways, I found it pretty empowering to stop hiding behind "creative" hairdos. I think this look may grow on me!
  10. Chica

    Chica New Member

    I know exactly what you mean. I've been losing hair for just over a year, and last week, I decided to shave it all off. I decided to raise money for cancer in the process just because I could, and then my friends took the razor to it. Now my hair is gone and I've never gotten so many compliments or felt as beautiful. Today my dermatologist got the results back from the biopsy that I recently had and I found out that I have AGA. After 14 months of losing massive amounts of hair and never being diagnosed, as strange as it is, I'm glad to have someone tell me what the hell is making my hair fall out. But really, no hair feels fantastic and I LOVE not being able to feel anything fall out. I love not having to think about it, even though I'll be on meds. It's one of my best decisions.
  11. Mermaid

    Mermaid New Member

    I don't think I can shave it but I am going for a very short cut. Problem is in my area I can't find anyone willing to do it, so I will do it myself at home. Last time I must admit my hubby was shocked but...

    Wish me luck!
  12. elfwitch

    elfwitch New Member

    Mermaid: You go, girl! Your idea sounds so liberating from all the grief and obsessing I'm doing right now. Please let us know how it goes. Blessings, elfwitch