I went to a new salon today... sigh

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by mimosa, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. mimosa

    mimosa New Member

    So today I went for a haircut at a new salon. I needed a haircut because my hair was getting impossibly tangled at its previous length. So I went and of course I was nervous, anxious, etc., because what I most hate is going in and having hairdressers comment on how thin my hair is. I already know that, thanks, I feel bad about it already, no need to point it out! :mad:

    So, I hoped that maybe now it would be different. It wasn't. As soon as I sat down another woman, with the thickest hair ever, looked at me and said "wow your hair is very thin, it's very noticeable". Suddenly everyone who was around stared at my hair. I felt like giving her a smartass comment, in the line of "well, it may be thin, but at least it's healthy and not fried like yours". But, instead, I just felt awful, said nothing else and wanted the hair cut over with. The guy who was cutting my hair said nothing, until the end, when he asked me "Do you have hair loss?", I freezed, so I shyly replied yes. He recommended a nettle shampoo that he uses, which he said is also good for dandruff, which I have. He said he uses that because he thinks his hair is thin (it's not).

    He gave me a nice haircut and all, but now I feel, well, like a freak. I'm 24, and have extremely thin, fine hair. I know what my hair looks and feels like, why do people feel the need to comment? I see people wth ugly thick hair all the time, but I don't go around saying "wow, your hair looks fried" or "somebody got a bad perm", or any of that. It's rude, mean and pointless. Why do people do it? I already feel bad enough everyday in the shower, or when I comb. I already feel like something's lacking every day when I see someone with thick hair. And people like that woman with fried looking thick hair make me angry, if I had that amount of hair I'd take precious allnatural care of it, without over processing it.

    Sadly, I don't live in the US, I live in a less developed country where we don't have many things at all, so there aren't any salons catering to women with hair loss. There aren't wig salons either. I feel so lost, alone, like a freak. Sure, both my mom and sister have hair loss, but they don't seem bothered. My mom is in her late fifties, and she wears he hair very short, so she doesn't care, also she's still married to my dad who loves her a lot. My sister, I don' know if she's in denial or if she just accepts it, also she has a very loving boyfriend, but she's prettier than I am, facially. Then there's ugly me, single, with hair loss. I told them how I felt, and they just told me to relax and not take it seriously when people make comments. But it gets to me, it gets to me badly.

    I hate going to the salon. Other women love it, I hate it with all my guts.
  2. Carry

    Carry New Member

    oh, I know so well what are you saying! And I am 45, I'm supposed to be over these things and focused on much more important stuff but it hurts.

    Believe it or not I've been cutting my own hair myself for years. I am a skilful person, good with doing stuff with my hands so I saw this as the only way to avoid the hair dresser experience. It takes me about an hour to cut my hair, two mirrors and lots of patience but I prefer doing this myself than bare the insensitive comments at the hair salon.

    Actually I started cutting my own hair when we moved to a foreign country, so it was even more difficult to communicate... At home I had a very nice hair dresser who knew me well and it was a relieve to go to her salon.
    She would give a warm smile and ask me: "We are making the "lots of hair" haircut, aren't we?" Somehow every time she managed to discuss the problem with me, even make me smile and than give me the perfect hair cut to cover the thinning areas in the best possible way.

    So my advice is to look for someone like this (not that it's easy to find one) or at least keep going to the same hairdresser that will know the problem and will not have to discuss it with you every time.

    I wouldn't recommend cutting your hair yourself:rolleyes:, sometimes the result is not so good, especially if I am in a hurry or fed up to even look at myself in the mirrors.
    and never think of yourself as "ugly me", "beauty" is so subjective... try to be good to yourself!:>
  3. Phoebekins

    Phoebekins New Member

    I know it's weeks later (I just joined this site recently) but I totally relate! I hate going to the hairdresser for the same reason.
    Mimosa, that woman commenting like that, even saying it's very noticeable...that is so ridiculously rude! Especially because she had thick hair? You know what it reminds me of? People who are healthy with both legs who say to a person in a wheelchair, "Oh God, somebody in a wheelchair, they're my way!" (Which I've overheard in a store, horrifying thing for an able-bodied stranger to say...)
    But yeah, I've been in that situation before, and it's so upsetting that I can barely respond, if at all! I'm just so close to crying that I can't necessarily speak back.
    I have been trimming my own hair for a few years (to save money, but also to save the comments) and yeah, like Carry says, I wouldn't recommend it necessarily. But I decided it's a lot easier than to put up with the comments.
    Most of all, though, it's upsetting for me to look in the mirror and see my fading hair. I have tried "Groganics Head Full of Hair" cream (I put it on at night and wash it out in the morning) and haven't noticed less scalp showing, but I notice that my hair doesn't fall out as much.
    My biggest problem is thin, fine hair that I've had my whole life. But now that I'm in my 40s, each individual hair got smaller because I guess your follicles shrink as you get older?
    It's a HUGE bummer, and I don't have the money yet for integration or hair pieces...but I really pray that I can. I might get a wig, but I am SO afraid that it will fall off and cause a ruckus (rude people commenting/laughing). Which is silly to worry about, but as you know, it's upsetting when people yell things out--and they DO, whether we like it or not. It's just so cruel.
    I use Dermmatch for now (using a piece of sponge to apply it) and it helps somewhat, but I still have baldness all over. Sigh...
    We all have to hang in there. I'm really glad that I came across this site because it's great to see so many people who understand!