I'm not really angry, just very embarrassed! The guy I like noticed my hair!

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by mimosa, Aug 12, 2013.

  1. mimosa

    mimosa New Member

    I have a guy "friend" I see often when I travel to his area. He's always very sweet and nice to me, and even said once that if I lived closer, he would like to be my boyfriend. What I've always found intimidating is that he has GREAT hair. Really thick and awesome.

    I saw him this weekend. At some point I was under some stupid bright lights, and he said "You have really thin, fine hair..." and started touching it. I was trying to act cool like "oh yeah it's always been like that, haha, now stop, I've always been soooo insecure about it, you know me" ('cause he does know I'm insecure about other things). He was like "Ok, but you shouldn't be soooo insecure about everything" and kissed me.

    The rest of the weekend he was really sweet and well, like he normally is with me. I was happy to be with him, but I swear that moment spoiled my weekend. I could barely look at him in the eye. It's so unfair that this condition makes us feel so powerless and embarrassed. I mean, he didn't seem to mind. He didn't leave me right there in disgust. He continued to be nice, sweet, even romantic. He continued kissing me and showing attraction to me, making plans for the next time we see each other (I even said "Wow, will there be another time?", I was that scared, even though I didn't say it was because of my hair. He just gave me a puzzled look and said "Of course there will be").

    I try telling myself it's only hair. But I still feel awful and inadequate. I mean, at least it's out there now that I have awful hair. My ex also had awesome hair and he also never made a big deal of my awful hair.

    But to me it's not just hair. I always have men hitting on me. I guess it's just I hope it's not so obvious so that's why they hit on me... but the ONE guy I wanted to never find out, did. And it sucks so much!
  2. MaryJo

    MaryJo New Member

    Hi Mimosa,

    I'm married to a wonderful man now (who also has dense awesome hair, like a lion's mane, I tell you) and he does not care. He only seems to care to the extent that it really distresses me. I've had this awful hair loss situation for a good portion of my post puberty years. It's only gotten noticeable to others miraculously last year (I'm 34 now by the way). My point being, I've been in several relationships throughout the years, always with men with thick hair now that I think about it, and it did not seem to affect their attraction to me. I'm not trying to toot my own horn of course. Just wanting to chime in and say that it may not be a big deal to men. ALSO, maybe he meant fine as in fine textured??
  3. rhondafigg

    rhondafigg New Member

    Bright lights are the worst! I would feel and react all the ways you did, but since I'm not you, I can say: "that sounds like it went as well as it possibly could have" He sounds like a nice person - it sounds like he likes you a lot and he also sounds like he's not going to BS you!
    My husband also has nice thick head of hair that he doesn't do anything with, and doesn't seem to care about this hair loss saga that's been ripping me up the whole time we've been together. One of the things I appreciate about him: when I am experiencing a major shed and I mention it, he agrees and tells me I am beautiful. He doesn't tell me it's not happening - or that "no one can tell". It would be way worse if he didn't let on that he noticed. If you start wearing hair, you can experiment with this guy and he will give you an honest opinion.