My topette

Discussion in 'Inspiration' started by twinmom, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    I got it today and I'm blown away!!! After I wet it and styled it I'm in love! It looks so beautiful! I can do so many styles with it:) if I can I'll post pics of my hair without it and with it. The only thing that'll take getting used to it the clips they pull a tiny bit but I can deal with that. My hair looks awesome now! I won't wear it at home tho as I don't want it to cause further loss. Definitely happy with it :)
  2. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    i took the topette off and now reality has set in how thin my hair is and the extent of my hairloss :( i still cant believe this is happening to me. it seems like an awful nightmare. i just dont get it. im eating right i exercise. my skin is so healthy but my hair is awful and keeps falling out. its so devastating. the topette will help make living a bit easier but inside me im still struggling with this. will my hair ever grow back is the question i cant get out of my mind and will i stop losing hair?
  3. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    Good morning TwinMom - I am glad you like your topette and enjoy wearing it- I wish that could be the right answer for me- it sounds so beautiful and so much easier to wear than a full wig! but my hair is so baby fine that finding a hair piece that matches it in texture would be near to impossible and it would be soooo noticeable on my head. As for photos, that would be great- I would love to see you with it and without, it might give me the motivation to give it a try. As for my laser txs , I had my fourth tx. Wednesday and just like the other txs, withthin 48 hours I suffered a shed, usually I would lose maybe 3-5 hairs in a shower and 2-3 hairs at the counter, drying and combing my hair. but after one of these txs. I loose triple or more of what I usually shed and that is a lot considering how little hair that I have left. I can only hope the extra shedding stops soon or I will have to give it up.
  4. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    Hi Dominique I'm sorry you're shedding. I'm shocked how little you she'd normally. I she'd at lest 70 -100 hairs a day :( it seems to have slowed a tiny but not much.
    I am feeling a bit discouraged today. It took me forever to style the topper this morning and I just feel so ashamed wearing hear :( I'm so self conscious ppl will know. I'm just really struggling with this. I still can't believe I'm going through hairloss. I'm sorry to keep going on I'm just in a bad place right now. I'd like to wear hair and not care but I feel like a phoney and it's not me :( I go out tonight with it on to a movie dinner with friends and my mom in law is babysitting. She is a talker and likes to point out things I pray she doesn't say anything. I'm just feeling so low
  5. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    Good afternoon TwinMom- Yes I thought I had licked the shedding issue with the DHT blocker and Rogaine that I am using- in fact I know that I had because my shedding had almost totally disappeared until I started the laser hair tx. I know that what I shed now is probably much less than many of you are shedding but remember I have been shedding for many years and not regrowing much of what I lost each day. My hair loss is very very noticeable now and I can't even afford to shed 25 hairs a day. But having said that I still have enough left to want to save it and I understand perfectly what you are going through right now, I have felt that way for years now. I hate that I don't have enough hair to even put in a simple style that I can wear out. I also hate that even though my wigs are a human hair blend and good quality, it is still very obvious that I am wearing a wig. I have gotten to a place though where I realize that it is what it is and I can either live with it and make the most of it OR I WILL JUST HAVE TO RETIRE FROM SOCIETY AND STAY IN MY HOUSE. I went for a job interview a day or so ago and I saw that I was getting looks the moment I walked in the door. One lady actually reached out as if to touch my hair! Well I just smiled at her and continued on the office for my interview. Most people are going to be kind and not mention anything and the few that are rude, well I just give them my brightest smile and they usually back off right there, cause its hard to be unkind to someone who is smiling at you. Some people carry canes or have sight issues, we have hair issues and at least there are good toppers and wigs out there to help us out. Its just that we know its supplemental hair and feel self conscious wearing it. Don't worry too much about what your Mother In law notices or even what she might say, take away her power to hurt your feelings and just smile and if she still questions you say, I have a new style and I love it. She will not want to push you after that. I have met many women who wear wigs-who don't seem to have hair loss, at least not that I have seen and they have say they like to change the length and style of their hair and wear wigs to be able to do that. So I am trying to look at it like that and think of the wig as an accessory to look better, like wearing a pretty hat or scarf. Have fun tonight and remember things are going to get better!!!
  6. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    hi dominique
    thx so much for your reply. i hope your sheddings eased up and you can continue to use your lazer helmet. how has that been going? what dht blocker are you using? i got hormone bloodwork done this week and will see my doctor beginning april so ill ask her if i can go on spiro. im at my wits end. my hair just wont stop shedding and what i have left is so ratty looking :( it just breaks my heart. its like overnight it decided to change. its to the point im so self conscious i dont want to go out. ive been so stressed and depressed over it moody irritable. im to the point i want to shave it off and buy a wig. my hairpiece im having troubles with. it was too short but the lady said itll add volume and add layers but to me its just awkward. ive called another place in hopes they can style it. they also sell wigs so ill look at my options. i miss feeling whole happy and me. im sorry to sound whingy im just noy having a positive day. i hope yours is going better :)
  7. Metalmom

    Metalmom Member

    Hi Twinmom, boy, I sure identify with not wanting to go out. I'm divorced and have not wanted to date, but had started thinking about it and then the hair loss got so bad, I know I can't do it. I can think of a hundred age-related appearance changes I would gladly suffer instead of hair loss. I love going to the beach and I don't know what I'll do about it this summer (last summer wasn't so bad, tho I was still self-conscious when my hair got wet and I would sort of push it around before I got out of the water). I guess I'll just wear a baseball cap into the water. I hope you feel better about your topette. That is one thing I've thought of -- that taking off the wig I'll see what's underneath.
  8. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    Hello TwinMom- sorry I didn't see your message until now, my life has been crazy lately. My sheds continue every 24-48 hours after a laser treatment. I have spoken to others who are using laser therapy and they are shedding with it too! the sad part is that I really don't have the hair to spare for multiple major sheds each week. So first I cut my time on my treatments from 20 to 10 minutes without any improvement in the shedding. Yesterday I cut it again to 5 minutes for a treatment and I am waiting to see how bad the shed will still be or if 5 minutes is the magic number that stops the shed. I use Proscar 2.5 mg as a DHT blocker and it had been working wonderfully for many months until I started the laser therapy. Yes you really do need to be on one and some people I have read about are on two blockers, such as an oral and a DHT shampoo also. I use "********** dr". once a week and "Just natural" organic shampoo a couple times a week, both are to clean the DHT from the hair but the ********** is fairly strong so I only use it once a week. I will be interested to hear what you find in the labs that your doctor drew, sometimes I feel that maybe I have a thyroid issue myself, which is causing some of my hair loss but my labs, by my regular md, didn't find an issue there. I think going to a specialist ( Endocrinologist ) would give me more insight as to whether there is a true thyroid problem or not. I totally understand how you feel about your hair loss and going out in it. I gave up the ghost for now and had my hair cut off into a boy cut. It took some of the heart break away from seeing my pageboy look so very thin and listless and It makes it a lot easier to wear my wigs. I am still hoping to regain enough of my hair to wear it out in some kind of style in a future world, but for now all I can do is use the Rogaine, Proscar and the shampoos along with the laser therapy and hope for a hair miracle. Don't give up though, a cure could be right around the corner for us, keep the faith!!!!! We all enjoy hearing from you (me especially) so please post when you can.
  9. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    hi dominique thx so much for all the info i really appreciate it!! i also really look forward to your posts youve been a huge support to me. my hubby has tried but he looks at my hair and says it looks the same as it ever did and it doesnt. even my hairdresser sees the difference. he gets frusterated with my mood swings and not wanting to do the things i used to do. im trying to live a normal life but its a struggle. i find this problem has really jncreased my anxiety over even little things like my kids fighting etc. its an awful awful problem for anyone to go through.
    im sorry about your lazor therapy i can relate! i have the hairmax comb and i do find the next day aftet using it i shed a bit more but the combs not as strong as what you have. in the writeups it says thats normal and is a sign its working within the first three months. i started in dec and use mine three to four times week. what scares me is the mjnidixidil jve heard so much about major sheds on that. i used 2% and that happened to me. i stopped using it. im shocked your 5% hasnt caused sheddjng. do you use the droppers kind? mine was a foam.
    what was the name of your shampoo it got edited out? also is proscar the same as propecia?
  10. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    continuing....
    did you have to ask your doctor for it or can i just order it? when i looked it up they called in finisteride and said it was only for men? 2.5 was the higher dose. did you notice right away a difference in shedding? any regrowth?
    i use every night coconut oil and rosemary oil on my scalp and i have a few new sprouts not many tho. i do love how it makes my scalp feel and i get zero breakage of hair its just too bad its comjng out at the root. one more question i exercise in the evening and dont wash my hair until the morning could this cause dhy build up on my scalp? i do use a dht shampoo but not sure how strong it is.
    yesterday was a huge milestone...we had a family dinner at a restaurant. id not seen most for a few months and felt extremely self conscious over it. i decided to discuss my health issues hair loss with them so they are aware i had bought a hair piece and may use it kn the future. it took a huge load off. this way in a few months time if im even thinner or wearing a wig etc its not a huge shock to them or me with their comments. it really helped to admit it what im going thru.
    i hope you had a great weekend and lets keep our chins up and grab mlments of happiness where we can despite this hair issue hugs
  11. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    good afternoon TwinMom- I fully understand your not wanting to go out and have a social life like you once did and how hard that it is just to be upbeat about life in general. I too found that my husband was not the right person to evaluate and see that I was losing my hair. Men look at things from a different place or maybe they are just not as observant as we women are but it took my husband months to actually see that I WAS LOSING MY HAIR and even then he couldn't understand WHY it was such a heartbreak for me, he says that he loves me for who I am and hardly notices any change, even age, that I look pefect in his eyes. All that is wonderful to hear and I am just SO THANKFUL that he feels that way but it is not very helpful with my dealings with the rest of the world. I have realized though that our marriage has survived much worse things than hair loss and I need to keep my perspective about that and continue to go out do fun things with him. Its important to accept that things are what they are and look at hair loss as the cup is still half full, not half empty, we still have hope of ending our hair loss and we have wigs and toppers to help us until our hair does improve. Yes my laser is much stronger than the laser comb and I have very little hair to spare so shedding is a real concern. not all hair that is shed comes back even if the laser txs start to work. I did have a shed with Rogaine, by the way, I am on the foam and find it works better with less sides than the liquid. I was on Propecia one month but it wasn't helping me, Proscar is Finisteride also but in a higher dose. the reason that advise women not to use it is that if you are of child bearing age it can cause birth defects In your child. I found that it started helping me right away but that's just me, I don't know if the effect is the same on every woman. Yes, you do have to have a prescription for it, I noted that it stopped most of my shedding until I started laser hair therapy. I use Rogaine for regrowth and I haven't been on it long enough to assess it, you need to be on it close to a year to see regrowth. I don't know why they deleted the shampoo from my post but Ill try again, Its r..pure dr. and you have to order it online I believe. but again, It is strong so if you get it go slow and easy until you see how it is with your hair. I don't think waiting to wash your hair until the next could cause any problems. I wash mine every day and use the Rogaine just once a day right now. If I missed answering any questions, just ask again, I remain hopeful of improvement in my hair loss and yours too, so don't lose hope. but for now it is with us so we must still enjoy life and the special people in our lifes, we shouldn't let hair loss take that away from us!!!!! yes I enjoyed last weekend and I plan to really kick up my heels and enjoy this weekend! You do the same.
  12. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    hi dominique
    thx for your advice and strength. its been so hard. some days are better than others. i found a salon that specializes in wigs toppers so i will go in a week and hopefully get a cut on my topper that will blend better with my hair.
    i go next wed to see my doctor and ill ask to see an endo and alao inquire about proscar. how much were you shedding before you used it? what is the texture of your hair like? mines so dull and lifeless its hard to even style it.
    i may go see a psychologist. ive been in such a deep depression over this. i just want my old life back. id give anything for that!
    i say prayers to god to give me my hair back. i have two young kids to raise and im finding it difficult to be a proper mom to them. i know im whinging but im just so upset iver this and if it wasnt for you id be totally alone in this!
    how is the helmet going has five mins helped? hope youre having a great day :)
  13. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    Good afternoon TwinMom- I am so glad you found a place that specializes in cutting toppers, I look forward to seeing a picture of yours once it is done. Proscar is only one of the DHT blockers that are out there, I have heard that Spironolactone is being prescribed to stop DHT and with really good reviews. Proscar is older and isn't usually given to any woman of child bearing years. Having said all that, I feel it has helped me a lot, before I started both it and Rogaine, I was shedding more than I had ever shed in my life. My hair was also breaking off right in my hand as I combed it. It continued to shed much the same for a month or more after starting them but by the 3rd month there was almost no hair shed in the shower/counter and it wasn't breaking any more either. Now, I was also taking 15 mg of iron each day and eating a lot of protein as well as taking Biotin and the omega 3 and 6s that they say helps the hair. My hair is and has always been very fine. I always had problems styling it unless I had a perm to give it weight and volume. It remains much the same now except that it is limp and since it is so thin it is not style-able. It has never been oily but it does shine. I also use a lot of special shampoos and moisturizers to keep it as healthy as possible ,as well as using a henna every couple of months to give it more body and shine. I did not get to this place of acceptance with my hair loss over night, through out my life I had never had an overly thick head of hair, but I always had plenty for my styling needs, so when I first noticed that I was losing it I went into a deep funk and hated going out socially. Yes I grieved over my lost hair for some time. Now I see it as a challenge to regain it, I research constantly for new ideas, meds and doctors. but in the mean time I have come to realize that you only live once and your life is always a lot shorter than you expect it to be. In fact I wear a bracelet that states my philosophy on life and it says "ONE DAY YOUR LIFE WILL FLASH BEFORE YOUR EYES." " MAKE SURE ITS WORTH WATCHING!" Great hair or NO HAIR, we still live and love, life is still just waiting for us to enjoy! I don't intend to waste my time on this earth sitting and regretting my lost hair, I plan to wear my wigs, kick up my heels and enjoy life. Don't let this one thing destroy your happy life either, Its just hair and we can buy plenty of it in every style imaginable. Believe me in a year or so, you will be past this and not even giving your loss(if you are still having it) much thought at all. you just need to get past this hump and start enjoying life again. Please write me often and we will exchange tips on vitamins, shampoos and hair sparing meds. I would love to meet you, we would have a howl of a good time shopping and gabbing about life. Oh yes the T. helmet. I didn't notice a large shed when I went down to 5 mins but it still was more than normal for me, so I used it again today but hung in there for the 20 min session. tomorrow I will see how much I shed. I don't want to give you false hope and have you use it and it fail for you, but I have read that it will at least improve the texture and health of the hair. Time will tell!!! As always, I wish you many happy hair days!!
  14. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    Good morning Dominique!
    Thx so much for your advice and support! I've read over your post several times and what sticks the most is your words about acceptance and how in time it'll get easier. Mourning is what I've been going through with this hairloss. I feel like less a woman. I've never been a model but I did take pride in feeling beautiful.
    Next sat I go to the lady who will attempt to style my topper. It was ordered way too small my hairs 13 inches this ones about 8. But hopefully it'll look layered. Idk I'm starting to wonder if a wig might be better. I'm I'm a awkward spot because I still have a lot hair so it might be bulky in a wig yet without my hair limp and sparse.
    I am looking also at synthetic wigs they look great in that they're styled already. I'm looking at godivas secret wigs online. The mono wigs. Are your wigs mono?synthetic or human?
    There's one part of me that feels optimistic when I see the wigs and how beautiful they look which my hairs never looked like that but the other part says it's not your hair. It's so psychological. I wish I was the type of woman that had no hangups with wigs and just wore them for fun. Definitely a hurdle to get over. Any wig advice would be appreciated.
    I'm interested in henna. I do get my roots coloured but I'd like a clear henna that can add volume. Do they sell clear? How do you apply it?
    How did your twenty min session go? Was there more shedding? I hope it's eased up. I do have to say I've been using my hair,ax for three months and I am getting sparse growth. Not sure if it's the comb or my iron
  15. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    Cont...
    I go to my doctor on wed and I'm going to plead with her to send me to an endo. The deem she sent me to was awful and more or less sent me out the door. I also get my blood results which include my iron and thyroid. I really want to know my hormone levels and I will ask her about spiro or proscar. I'm at my wits end and I feel she's not done much to help me. Time is crucial and the wait game to get into see these specialists is so long.
    I love what your bracelet says and you're such a beautiful strong lady I admire! I've told hubby about you and he agrees I'm lucky to have found such a special friend :) I wished we did live closer ! Have a wonderful weekend :)
  16. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    Good morning TwinMom- Yes I feel mourning our hair loss is an ongoing process. At first we have so much hair that we hardly notice the beginnings of our loss. Then over a period of months or years we notice that's its gotten worse but not to the point of affecting our styling choices. After all,( we tell ourselves) its a temporary problem due to stress or whatever and we feel its at its worst and won't get any worse. At least this is what I thought and felt. Then some more time goes by and we notice actual thinning of our over all hair to the point of deep concern, by then we are not just worried, we are in mourning for our loss and are fearful for the worst. But that too passes over time and we have either just gotten to the point of giving up the fight and shaving our head and walking proudly out into the world as Hellcat has or maybe wear bonded wigs. Some of us decide to just cut our bio hair short and wear day wigs, it depends on the womans' choice. There are stages of grief in between all that and some women reach total acceptance b-4 others but the true gut wrenching grief/pain of losing our hair subsides for all of us. Its like looking in your mirror and noticing that the years have flown by and you are not looking 20 years old anymore, you realize that you have aged but you are ok with it! ITS JUST LIKE THAT, you won't have the hair you had in your youth but you will still look, feel and be very feminine and attractive. You will still enjoy dressing up, fixing your hair(it is your hair, you paid for it) and walking out the door looking like a fox. So no worries, just have patience, it will work out to be ok. you will find yourself on the other side of this hair grieving issue. Now that doesn't mean you will stop looking for a cure just as I haven't, but the loss will not control your everyday thoughts the way it does now or your life and certainly not cause you to shed a tear!!! I see that you are at a cross roads where you are at least thinking about your next step, will a topper hold you at least for a while or is your hair so thin and sparse that cutting it would help you to move into the world of wigs? That is the stage I found myself in a few years ago, so I first cut my hair just enough to fit better under a long wig, then this past winter things got to the point that I cut it off into a boy cut so that I could more easily wear my wigs without feeling my hair would slip out and tell on me. I feel that it was a good move, it gives my hair a break from all the styling aids I was using (coloring, mousses etc) and my wigs fit well with a wig grip. As for you, I would start out slow and choose inexpensive wigs for a while to try out this new hair move. I have over a dozen wigs of varying styles, most are synthetic and inexpensive (40-80 dollars) but 3 are a human hair blend and have a monofilament top, which makes the hair line on top look more realistic. I have not gotten a totally human hair wig, they are so expensive and don't last as long as the H.H blends. I just cant justify the costs to wearing those. I get most of my wigs from Paula young wigs but one of the ladies on here clued me in to FORTUNE WIGS and I checked the site, they are so beautiful that I might have to consider just one for special occasions. As for henna, there is a huge learning curve to using henna at home. I am on my fourth application and am just now getting the hang of using it. It can cause hair loss too if not used properly and gently. I buy my henna from SABA BOTANICAL USA ONLINE. They have a no color natural henna also. The laser txs are ongoing, I did my 7th yesterday and will see my larger than normal shed in the shower today, I sure hope that shedding ends soon! I wanted to let you know that I also enjoy your friendship very much, I often think of you when my husband and I are out on the town or ballroom dancing and I always hope that you are out and about with your Love making new memories and enjoying life!!
    Connie Cepaitis likes this.
  17. Metalmom

    Metalmom Member

    Hi Dominique, I know your post was not "addressed" to me but I want you to know how helpful it was. Full of wisdom, understanding, helpful information and hope. I will read it many times. I am in the first stages of mourning the hair loss; tho it's been going on for some years, it just started getting very bad the last few months.
  18. Dominique

    Dominique Member

    My thoughts are with you Metalmom, Please feel free to use any information or advice I offer in my postings, it is honed from many long years of hair loss and has seen me through the roughest of times in my hair loss journey. Also remain positive, the ladies here who are just now noticing hair loss have the most to gain from new research and development of new meds, topicals and hair cloning, which I see as a true possibility in the next 10 years. As always I wish you and all the other ladies at WHLP many happy hair days!
  19. Metalmom

    Metalmom Member

    Thank you so much, Dominique. You are an inspiration. BTW I looked into transplant surgery a few years ago. There are 2 doctors in a big city near me who are the go-to docs for that. One of them literally wrote the book on modern hair transplantation (not the plugs; strips of hair). I decided not to go for it; is very expensive and I wasn't confident I'd have acceptable results, esp. as it could take months to see them.
  20. twinmom

    twinmom Member

    Hi Dominique! Metal mom too!
    Dominique your msgs really help more than you know! You're right acceptance makes things easier. I'm not ready to lose hope but I do realize I can't base my happiness on hope because if or when my hair restores itself will not be overnight. This could take a yr and in the meantime it's taking away from my happiness and my families.
    Your stages you went thru are exactly what I've been going thru. One thing I have come to realize is some of the wigs I see look solo easy maintenance and better than what my hair had looked like. I found a company I'm super excited to order a wig from called natural radiance. Her wigs look so beautiful and are synthetic high quality. I go to see the wig stylist next the I had to change the appt. she will attempt to style my topper. Truthfully tho the wigs look easier and I love how the synthetic ones keep their style. I pay about 180.00 every month and half for a color n cut so it is so worth it the prices of these wigs. I'll leave the link for you or anyone interested :)