No hair No worries

Discussion in 'Inspiration' started by Tan B, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. Tan B

    Tan B New Member

    You know something I turn my hair loss into a big funny comedy. Though my hair was out of my control.I can control how I feel and I made it into something fun! I joke with people how I am the opposite from people I got hair loss when I was kid.Chances are when I am old and gray.My hair might show up and darken my head once more. If not I need tons of sticky tape for a cheap face lift. good thing about it no white hairs. I am a lucky lady. My siblings aren't so lucky :p And the things I did with my hair loss. During halloween I drew eyes at the back of my head and scared a guy that he walked the other way in my university.And I won first prize a thumb drive. Best memory of all my friend and had a guy friend dress up in a wig and dress and high heels for a university presentation.We got the highest marks for that. And I have to admit I have never seen a guy run soo fast.We didn't get a chance to snap a photo. I say the people who have hair miss out alot. Bald people know how to have fun.
  2. ForeverBlue

    ForeverBlue New Member

    I find nothing funny about hair loss. It's something that has devastated me to the point of not wanting to live anymore. As long as i live, i will never find anything good or funny about it. It's a horrible thing to go through, and most women come to this site for comfort from others going through the same thing, because they are the only ones that can understand how horrible it can make you feel about yourself.

    I do see people that come to accept their hair loss over time, but this is the first time i've seen somebody find humor from it. Interesting.
    mariatia likes this.
  3. Tan B

    Tan B New Member

    lol I am a weird one. Always have been. I just find it easier to have fun then worry about my hair. But I have to admit there were those bad hair days I did have my troubles with my hair loss. I know the feeling looking at that mirror and thinking who is that fat shaven cow in the mirror? ooo right that;s me.I can totally understand why ladies have trouble with it. And that's why I am here. If I can make them smile for a while in their times of troubles and that I can help out. My 13 years of hair loss is worth something.
  4. linzineedshelp

    linzineedshelp New Member

    i find it amazing that you can use your hair loss as something fun rather than something to worry about.How exactly do you not worry whilst watching your hair fall from your head continuously??? i actually find it quite strange to be honest.most women are here because they are traumatised by hair loss and are looking for someone who feels the same way or just somewhere to turn.I would be very suprised if you find anyone wanting to share your humour of losing hair!! Myself i feel sick to my stomach every day that passes me by, its slowly crushing my confidence and my life.i think if you can laugh this off, even slightly, then you must be some kind of emotional miracle, you could quite possibly go through anything without a care! well done you! i wish!
    mariatia likes this.
  5. thisistrichy

    thisistrichy New Member

    I'm not sure Tan is saying hair loss is funny...but you can have a sense of humor about it. I hate not having hair, and I've spent years struggling with it. However, this is my reality and until I find a way to fix it, I will have a laugh when I can. I find humor is the way for me to regain control of a situation. I've had trich since elementary school, and the best way for me to handle the shame and embarrassment was by cracking a joke; I acknowledged what everyone was already staring at (and whispering about), I was in control of how it was discussed, it set people at ease and made it ok for people to ask questions so they could understand what trich is and how I felt--which, thankfully, led to understanding and kindness. No one could laugh AT me, when I was already in charge of the "joke." Basically, it made the bullies who pointed and laughed look like the assholes they were. Rachel Maddow said something about coming out that I think can also be applied here: "Nobody can insult you by telling you what you just told them."
  6. ForeverBlue

    ForeverBlue New Member

    You people that think hair loss is funny, or think that it is a joke, make me sick. I have to struggle every day just to stay alive, because i'm suicidal.

    Just because you accept it, or try to find humor in it, doesn't mean that others feel that way. Most people come to these websites because they are devastated by what they are going through. For you to come on here, and act like it's nothing, is insulting. If you are ok with it, that's great. But you need to respect that there are others that are not in the same place that you are.
  7. Tan B

    Tan B New Member

    Forever Blue. Relax what I meant to say is that with my hair loss. I make the best of what I got. And maybe have a few laughs on the way. And I haven't told anyone to act the same way have I? I am really sorry if I have made anyone upset or feeling down by this post. I know people have different way of coping. And you shouldn't judge me. I was bullied and stared at and even laughed at. Even called a hair less freak. And I had people telling to get cured. Had my wig pulled off. Hated how I looked but that doesn't mean it should stop me from living happy. My way of coping if I can someone else happy and smile then it makes me feel good. I know its not for everyone. The best part of my hair loss was the moments I mentioned to you. Why worry for something you have no control over? I am sorry if I make you sick. And why does your life have to be in the balance of your hair? I learnt over the years. your looks are still there. And you can get a wig and look even more beautiful then you did before.I know it can't replace hair but it an option. I am not saying this to make you feel bad or upset you Forever Blue. but that's how I feel about it. And if you don't feel the same about it. Its in your rights.You are beautiful the way you are. I ain't going to force anyone to act anyway but their own. Personally I think people are beautiful no matter what they do. Hair or no hair. If I still make you sick then I can remove this post for ya. And I do not mean to make anyone feel bad.I know you guys have it tough and that why I think you guys are beautiful. Just know that if you guys ever have a tough time. There is always someone here that will listen to you. And I do know people who share my humour lol . I am on a few hair loss sites and they are a lovely crowd. :D And I lost my hair when I was nine. I was happy to see it go. Always wanted to know what it like being bald. That's why I did say i am a weird one. I was worried more for chocolate and playing as a kid.
  8. TaniaB

    TaniaB New Member


    you have to understand something some people find their light in humour even when they lose a loved one and other situation and in my case it was my hair loss.I had this for years. Not yesterday. Not 3 years ago.I am entitled to do what I like with my hair loss include cracking jokes with it.I am not someone who doesn't understand your pain and I am not someone who would just bring it and laugh until I am out of breath... I laugh at my funny moments NOT anyone else. And if that lady upset you, you could always say it wasn't appreciated. You guys always have the choice to stand up and say I am not going to let this get to me.And know what I stood up to my hair loss. And I am stronger because of it. If you guys didn't appreciate this blog then I will delete it. Now Blue I want a sorry! If may not occur to you but humour is my own coping mechanism. And I did say sorry for if it came out wrong. I had my own rough days and some days I still do but its my humour that cheers me up. Even just watching a comedy and laughing your heart out. Its a great feeling for me anyways. Until that extent carpe78 I understand but did I mention your hair loss or other else's? I know what its like to be laughed at.I will never do it to anyone else.
  9. TaniaB

    TaniaB New Member

    Same here. I had a couple of those insensitive comments and some who have hurt me by mentioning thing they shouldn't be mentioning aka treatments.Well I do have to go wrong somewhere. Alopecia is ok for me. When treatments are mentioned run to the hills!!!!!!!!! or Run to australia!!! anywhere but here LOL. No worries I won't delete it then :D Yup it can be tough with alopecia. Would you believe the situations I got into.... When I walked around bald in my university.. Someone said hi to me then asked whether I was a man and shaved????? Makes you wonder if heels and other indicators are not obvious enough? Maybe I need a dress? Another one was in a shopping mall. And I was walking out of the ladies toilet and a guy passed me and gave me a nod then walked into the toilet.... Then quickly walked out into the right one? LOL I also believe in people need to invest into something that makes them happy to take their mind off hair loss. When you keep yourself busy and you find things get easier over time. :D I met alot of people online and on other alopecia and hair loss sites who have difficulties and have a hard time accepting things. And even met people don't want to accept it.Its all up to them.As long as their lives are great then its all good. different people have different coping methods that's what I believe. :D some accept it and some just ignore the fact they have it. and others find their own ways with it.
  10. JustM

    JustM New Member

    Good on you TaniaB for having such a positive outlook. If you decide to run off to Australia can you bottle some & drop it off on you travels :)
  11. Lynn R

    Lynn R New Member

    My thoughts on humor and acceptance

    I'm new to this forum and relatively new to hair loss. This is my first post here. I just wanted to say maybe people are at different levels of acceptance and that's why some can find the humor in it and some are appalled by even the suggestion of humor concerning hair loss. It's a long long story for me, but basically, after some damage I did to myself, I was diagnosed with androgenic alopecia three months ago. I haven't accepted it. I am still clinging to hope that I can get part of my hair back. I am at the point, though, where I am 'starting' to deal with it, I'm starting to think down the road when I may have to wear hairpieces and wigs.

    I can see everybodys perspective. I can't even describe the anxiety I've experiences over this. This is kind of embarrasing but the closest thing I've experienced similar to this is when my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 4 months later. It feels like that - the death of something - the death of my life as I knew it. I figured that out - that a lot of this is grief - I'm mourning the person I used to be. And yes, it seems crazy, it seems like it should only be - just hair - and that's what I would think if it wasn't me going through it. But it's embarrassing, it's humiliating, people look at you different, and it seems like it changes the way they feel about you. They pity you and I just hate that.

    BUT, I'm coming to the same conclusion that I eventually came to when Daddy died, Grief, after a certain period of time, can become extremely selfish. I had a lot of time to think about that because I basically destroyed my marriage over it. I couldn't be happy, couldn't be there for anybody, and I made my husbands life miserable. A turning point for me was when I realized, everybody loses their parents at some point, this is a universal thing we all must go through and I'm not handling it with much grace or dignity. I realized that too late for my marriage, but I try extremely hard not to make the same mistake again with the people that are in my life now.

    So I fix my hair as best I can. At some point think I cannot go out looking like this, take a deep breath and remember somebody is waiting on me and it's not fair to them for me to be so focused on myself, and I take that step out the door. I don't walk around all confident and happy like I once did, but I'm there and I try to make the best of it - I act my way through it -and I'm ususally glad I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself.

    I don't mean this to be insulting, but some of the ones who handle it the best - seem to be the ones who lost their hair at the youngest ages -and please please don't take offense to this - but you may not grieve as hard over something you never really had. Maybe hair never became as big of a part of an identity for some people. I'm trying to say too, that maybe there's more grief invoved when you lose your hair at different stages of life, when you're dating age for example- that's tough. For me, even though I'm in my forties, I am still dating, but I am stronger emotionally than probably a sixteen year old because I've been through more things so I do have some perspective. I don't think wearing a wig would bother me as much if I were still married, because you have that bond with a husband- they generally do accept you for better or for worse - IF you'll (we'll) let them.

    And this comes to mind - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think some of us are still trying to find the wisdom to know the difference. I'm trying to fight this right now, I'm scared to death and I don't see a lot of humor in it. But I think it's wonderful some people can. I can understand that feeling of taking back control - and I'm normally kind of that way myself. But I feel like if I point it out to people - not that they can't tell anyway - but if "I" start talking about it - I'll be 'known' as that woman who's going bald and overlooked for everything else I am. I just really dont want to be the one pointing it out right now, neither by laughing or crying about it to too many people.

    I hope nobody feels like I'm trying to say it's worse for one than another, because I know it's devasting to everyone - I'm just trying to say we're all in a different place on this journey, and a lot of external factors are at play too, for different people. It's been tremendously helpful to me to know other people are out there going through this so I hope everybody keeps posting honestly, from their own perspective, because that's how we all learn from and gain strength from one another.
  12. TaniaB

    TaniaB New Member

    offense?? none taken lol. you are right. The older you get with hair loss the harder it is. Seen lot of people who were older have trouble with hair loss. But with those who had it when they were younger cope better. And I know it can be worse thing for someone and others its not. And hugs to you I know you are scared to death but you not alone with it. :D I was though.... alone and not many people go bald in my country.That's why I come on to this hair loss support and give people my support so that they will never have to feel being alone again. I had my moments with hair loss but its like life there are ups and downs. More ups though.But I have to admit you are wrong about somethings Lynn. I know what have hair is like.... I miss it so much. If I had the choice I would want it back.. Its not because we never got to experience hair.We did. Its just that as kids our minds work very differently to adults... we worry more for meals and chocolate not looks and beauty ;). But when we start growing up its the people around us that gives us the foundation to deal with hair loss and alot of things in our life.I had the right people in mine. My friends never treated me any differently and my parents said nothing is going to change even if you lost your hair.we love you just the same. But you are right about another thing not everyone is confident about it. But that's fine if they aren't its everyone to their own coping mechanism. Humor is mine lol.not for everyone. But to let you know. I didn't post this up to make people feel they should do what I did or cope like I did. I posted this up so people know there is a light at the end of tunnel. And they should do what makes them most comfortable.

    Just M- LOL take as much as you want.Will send it thru the mail! Have you ever tried getting in contact with the australian alopecian community? they have meetings in some areas of aussie. Even if you don't have alopecia and have other form of hair loss. You can met with other with hair loss.But only if you are up to it. :D
  13. JustM

    JustM New Member

    TaniaB - Thanks for the link. It's something I'll look into. It's hard for my friends to understand what I'm going through & even though there have been some subtle comments I'm still not ready to tell my family so some local support would be nice.

    Lynn R - I understand what you mean by grieving for the old you. Based on the stages of grief I swing wildly between denial & acceptance with a massive dose of depression thrown in & occasional bargaining with the hair gods but so far no luck with them.
    I don't know about the age factor. For myself I don't think I would of coped at all if this had of happened in my teens or twenties & while it wasn't the best 30th birthday pressie I'm in a better situation to (semi) deal with it. My partner & I have been together since our teens so I don't know anything about dating but I can imagine it would be very difficult.
    My aim is to try to not let it have a negative impact on my kids. Some days I have to fake it more than others but this site & discovering I'm not alone has helped so much.
  14. TaniaB

    TaniaB New Member

    your welcome!! I know its tough.But I can get you in touch with another group of aussies on another hairloss site if you like .Add me in fb. Will send you a private message in abit.
  15. blythe

    blythe New Member

    I find nothing fun about it as well. Only thing I can say is when we have to finally wear a full wig, we can have beautiful hair that many can't. That is one consolation. Not a great one, but something.

    I am saddened every single day by my hair loss. And it's very hard for me to go to my salon and have my own colored or cut when I have to take my "topper" off. I always get stressed to the max. I would like to find humor in it all, but still cannot. And I can usually find humor in anything.
  16. TaniaB

    TaniaB New Member

    hey blyte,Blehh you don't have to find humour in anything you don't want to. I certainly ain't going to force anyone to laugh at their hairloss. Though you gotta know its not always going to be this way. I mean the stressing out and worrying. One day you will be ok with it. Though it takes time. I know paris wasn't built in a day.Neither did my confidence. But you have to admit you got one consolation I never got....That's awesome consolation you got. All these support groups I never had.Wigs are horrible here.They tore on the top and were expensive and it was plain heart breaking to see that everyone looked beautiful with hair... And me stuck with useless wigs.... and other problems. If I spent all my life dwelling on the bad stuff I am never going to be happy. Until what point are you going sit and be upset over things you can't control Why not spend that energy somewhere else? In doing fun things?Don't you know you are even more beautiful with a smile? I am sure you could light the room with it.Its ok to be sad with hair loss but don't forget to enjoy life's treasures.
  17. blythe

    blythe New Member

    Humor in Hair Loss

    Thanks for the encouagement. I still can't find humor and that is not like me. I'm sure I will come to that.

    I did whiten my teeth to the max, go on a diet, get my makeup right, make sure I'm not sloppy with my every day clothes. And I can still wear a "topper'" but it won't be long until I have to wear a wig. I don't know where there are ones that don't have too much hair!

    Why do wig makers put way to much hair on them? I don't get it. I mean, Dolly Parton is darling, but I cannot try to pull that off.

    I keep telling myself it certainly could be worse, and it sure could. I also feel embarrassed to be so vain.

    Thank you for replying.

  18. midnite113

    midnite113 New Member

    Lynn, I so much connect with what your saying. Losing our hair is no laughing matter to me either. I never had thick, full hair, but I had it !!
    After my divorce when I wanted to start dating, I started to wear the small clip in pieces to cover my small bald spots & I prayed the guy didn't want to run his fingers thru my hair !! ( Okay, maybe that would''ve been funny )
    Slowly but surely, I started to need more coverage & the pieces got I had more doubt. I also avoided activities I used to love, especially the beach or a pool. I couldn't get my hair wet in public at all. Not even in my own yard!! Or God forbid take a shower at a place that wasn't mine. It took me a long time in that mirror using several different products to cover my head well enough. My hair is also baby fine & bobby pins weren't securing pieces very well. I switched to pieces that had locking combs in them. They seemed to work the best. The clip type hurt my head & I soon stopped wearing that kind.
    I started with a human hair one, from a local wig salon, but it was way too thick & didn't look natural on me. I switched to acrylic fibers & after trying many types I settled on one or two types that matched my hair type. I buy all my pieces & wigs from Paula Young. com & I've been very happy with most of them. I did send a few back in the beginning. But I did learn. Her Jaclyn Smith line is very soft & a lot less hair on them. There are also some called whisper lite fibers that work too. The hair on them feel just like real hair. The human hair ones always felt a bit "wooly" to me & I didn't like them. They didn't hold a style well either. I could set it overnight, but it always fell out by the end of the day, if not sooner. Poop on that, I thought & went acrylic. Cheaper too.
    Well anyway...after a few years of more clumps of hair falling out, I could not get away without wearing something on my head. I won't even sleep without it because I'm embarrassed if I have to answer the door early & I don't have it on.
    I'm not a fan a full wigs, but my hair has gotten to the point that a piece sometimes isn't enough. So I broke down & bought some wigs from Paula Young. They're okay. Better than anything else I've tried, but I still hate wigs !!
    I have a very supportive mate & he tells me how cute I look in them & tells me to wear them specially when we go out to dinner.(but not because he's embarrassed by my hair loss) He wants me to feel confident to wear them, cause he knows I don't like to. I've worn my wigs a few times, but almost every day I wear my pieces. Or "toppers" as U call them here. I have to use the ones that have locking combs in them or they won't stay on my head. I don't have enuff to hold them on any more. Even now, with the combs in them, they're starting to slip around on me because my own hair is too thin to snag it on tight. I'll use a pin curl of my own hair on top & slide the combs beneath that. Plus use a scarf around it as a headband & bobby pin that to my hair & the piece to make it more secure. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
    When it refuses to hold, I have to put a full wig on. (Yuck !!)
    Laugh about it. I can't. It's too heart-breaking for me.
    When I was dating, the guys would tell me how beautiful my hair was. I would sometimes give in & tell them I was wearing a piece. Other times, I just said thank U. It all depended on if I thought I'd be seeing them again. And altho I told them I was wearing a piece, I didn't tell them underneath was almost bald.
    There was one guy I stopped seeing & he got so mad, he called me names. Namely-bald, was one of them. I just ignored him after that. He sure wasn't worth my breath anymore. And I never showed him how bad my hair was by itself, so I'm not sure if he actually noticed or just surmised. He wasn't one to talk, believe me !! Not much of a man either, if U ask me. But, I still can't laugh about it & I've suffered with this a long time now. Almost 10 years.
    Matter of fact...I'm sitting here now, getting ready to go to bed & I'm wearing my piece in my hair. It isn't coming off. Too much trouble re-styling it the next day if I take it off every night. Not the piece, but my own hair. So I just touch it up & I'm ready for a new day.
    I couldn't resist replying to your post when U mentioned dating. It wasn't easy to hide it, and I turned down a few trips to the beach all because of it. They must've thought I was ashamed of wearing a bathing suit, but that was far from being my reason. It stinks that I have to turn down things I enjoy because I don't have hair anymore. I really loved going to the beach & getting wet !! No more tho.
    Well anyway...goodnight for now. I do understand.
  19. Meta

    Meta New Member

    I'm new to all this, it's been 4 months that I'm dealing with total hair loss. No hair on my head, eyebrows, eyelashes, leg hairs, armpit hairs and pubic. It's been a devastating road and I'm hating every moment of it. In the past year i had 3 miscarriages. My hair loss started after the second one. I was just losing it in patches, that was no problem I could hide it. It wasn't until my 3rd one that it really started to fall out. Went to the dermatologist got my treatments and everything started to come back. Then in September it just took a turn for the worse and everything, i mean everything started to fall out. I hate looking in the mirror. I feel like a freak. I went from having long, curly, blonde hair to tiny stubbles on the top of my head. I think the worse is losing my eyebrows and eyelashes. I feel like my whole life has come to a screeching halt. I don't want to go out for the fear of running into someone I might know. I wish I could laugh it off, I mean some days are better than others. Some days i can shrug it off and say to myself hey it is what it is. Other days I just want to crawl in a hole and hide forever. I'm hoping this is just a fluke that when I go see these new dermatologists from Philadelphia they will have an answer and hopefully can bring my hair back. I'm looking forward to the future to when I look in the mirror I won't see a reflection off the top of my head! Though it is very helpful knowing I'm not the only one who share these feelings.
  20. midnite113

    midnite113 New Member

    Personally Meta, I think U are very brave. To have to go thru so much in one year, I think might've done me in. But the truth is only hair. It's just tough to accept when U see it every day in the mirror.
    It's kind of like someone else said here. With a wig on, we'll have the best looking head of hair, just like the actresses on TV. U must know that all of them wear pieces & wigs all the time. Plus, they have good makeup artists covering everything else up. I guess we'll have to get used to doing the "fake" thing, like it or not. And when somebody makes a nasty crack about it, we'll have to dig up a few good lines to come back with. One line that comes to me & that's the one U say when someone calls U fat & U can say to them.
    "I may be fat, but your ugly. I can lose weight. What are U gonna do about being ugly"? I guess with plastic surgery these days, they now have an answer for that. And maybe this is the point we should all hang on to. Things develop everyday. Maybe one day soon, there will be a perfect answer to this balding problem we're having. Right now...we have Minoxidil & a few other things that sometimes work & sometimes do not. But they have some clues, so maybe in the near future, they will get it right !!
    If there's one thing I have always been able to hold's hope. But in the meantime, we do have to figure out how to handle it. Right ?
    As I think about it more, I think the bigger part of our embarrassment is the "social" factor. We still believe in that "magazine" appearance we're supposed to look like. Truth is, we're fairly lucky tho. We do have lots of make up available to us. We also have amazing things a plastic surgeon can do for us. They don't only do tummy tucks & face lifts. I believe they also do things like eyelash & eyebrow implants. If I were U, I would look into it. And if it's unaffordable to U, look into charities. I'm pretty sure they have them for things like this. There's also some generous people out there who would volunteer to help U. Then for the hair thing, U can always wear a wig for now. Then look into transplants or something else to get U feeling normal again. OR.....can always just learn to accept what is & the He__ with anybody who can't stop staring.
    Ya know, I was in the supermarket a few weeks ago & noticed a mom walking around with what was left of her hair cut really short. No hairpieces or scarves on. Just her. I hate to admit this, but I also stared for a bit. I said to myself tho..."Look at how brave this woman is, & how beautiful she is". She had her kids with her & they thought nothing of it. She was just "Mom". All accepting & ignorant of her inner turmoil. She must've felt many eyes on her as she walked around the store. I felt bad that I stared at her & hoped she didn't notice me doing it. I know how awful it can be too. I was in a store one day & I decided to wear a large scarf & tie it around my head & let the tails hang down. I thought it looked kind of cool, actually. Then I heard some little laughter behind me, & when I turned around, the father of 2 little girls was very apologetic to me.
    I don't know if they thought I was Muslim or something else when they saw the scarf I had on. But they laughed at me. That father must've been very embarrassed, but really I felt angry at him that he hadn't taught his daughters to be accepting of people who weren't like them. It made me feel differently, myself; tho I would never have laughed at anyone different than I. ( I don't think ) And I don't think my kids would either, tho they're grown now, & I know they never did it when they were little.
    The problem with all of this, is that society teaches us cruel things sometimes. Rarely is it right, but we still lean towards it. My mate is correct. I AM beautiful with or without my hair. All I have to do, is learn this. Then learn to ignore or correct those who haven't yet.
    So what I'm saying U ARE beautiful & U should never forget that. Whether U have your hair or not, that doesn't change the person U are. Think of all the men who have chosen to go bald, even tho they aren't & they love it because it allows them to be lazy & not have to take care of their hair every day. I'm sure it doesn't make any of them feel ugly or embarrassed. How do they do that ? I guess it's because the stigma is different for a woman. Our locks are our identity to us. We're gonna have to change this somehow. We're gonna have to realize we are worth so much more than the hair on our heads & bodies. And if it's only a "look" we miss, we have products to help us along. We just have to find the right ones, that work for us. After all...we did find the correct shade of eye shadow we liked, right ? We chose our mascara correctly. And we choose our hair color for the way we feel it looks cool on us. Now, we just have to direct our choices a different way.
    I would guess that with naturally blonde hair, both on your head & body...that losing it doesn't show up as much as it would if U were a brunette, but I'm sure it's still devastating to U. Think about trying to get your eyelashes & brows done if this is what bothers U most. Then find a wig that looks & feels natural for U. I bet U will feel better. If U can't or don't want to do this, then hang around on this site & learn to accept what is & can't be changed. I know it isn't fair, but all of us here are going thru a similar problem.
    For myself...I decided to try learning what caused my baldness 1st. Then after that...if I can't turn it around, I will opt for learning to accept what is & learn to go outside & be in front of people without embarrassment anymore. I'll have to learn to accept the stares & comments. Don't know how long that will take, but I'm sure gonna try !!
    All the women in my family have a similar problem with thin hair that gets thinner as we age, to a point where the bald spots just cannot be hidden by "comb-overs" anymore. Most of us go around with nothing to hide it. I think I'm the only one who's so vain about it & who wears hairpieces to cover it. Probably because all my life I've been told I was beautiful & losing my hair made me feel very not beautiful. Add to that, the fact that I'm aging now & show signs of that on top of losing my hair, makes me feel even worse when I look in that mirror. I have not accepted it yet. But maybe that's because I'm dealing with other things in my life too ? I'm a chronic pain sufferer, but that's another thing. I've had lots of disbelief to deal with for years & lots of non-understanding reactions from people to deal with also. I've been mis-judged & called names & whispered about behind my back. All of which hurts, especially when it sometimes comes from the people U love. (including family members too) It can get to a person some days. U do learn to deal with it somehow & I figure that somehow, I'm gonna learn to deal with this too. I believe it can be done & so should U. I know it can be done because I've already done it with other things in my life I've had to deal with.
    There's help out there for all of us. We only have to find it. And this site is a good start !! God Bless & don't give up !!