Really need some support!

Discussion in 'Rants and Venting' started by thu8871, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. thu8871

    thu8871 New Member

    Hi well i only joined today so this is pretty scary but I'm just feeling so depressed and lost so here goes and this is going to be pretty long...

    My name is thu, I am 17 years old and I live in London. My hair loss probably started when I was about 14 when i started to notice a difference in texture of my hair, slowly it got worse and worse and now here I am still seaching for hope and for answers. i feel so alone in this world right now and nobody understands how i feel, so I'm hoping this community will help. I understand what people with hair loss are going through, so if anyone needs any support I will be there for you no matter what! :)

    I used to be such a happy person and I loved life, but now I constantly go through stages of depression because of my hair, I am so unbelievably insecure and i find it ahrd to concentrate because I always think about my hair. I overthink things so much now and I am so much less confident because my hair really affects me. I often spend days sitting there analysing what I've done wrong in my life to make God punish me and make me lose my hair. I know it all sounds so dramatic and crazy but I'm only 17 and everyone else around me has such beautiful hair. It just honestly kills me inside that my hair is like this and it's the last thing I need to deal with right now when I have exams and have to apply for university.

    No one seems to get what I am going through, my mum just shouts at me and says its all fine and brushes it under the carpet, or she comments on how i dont eat, but I do eat very regulary and properly. My dad doesnt really seem to care that much, or if he does he doesnt do anything. My brother is just horrible about and i hate telling him because if we have a fight he'll bring it up and make me feel horrible about myself. My friends jsut say my hair is fine, but they dont understand at all how hard it is:(

    I really dont know what to do anymore, my hair loss has slowed down but i dont seem to have much growth and the new hairs are absolutely tiny and thin, my hair strands themselves used to thick, but are now very fine and thin. I've been to the docotor so many times, blood tests iron and thyroid pretty much everythiung checked and normal (i kinda wish it hadnt been because then at least id know what was causing it right!)
    they basically ended up saying that there was nothing they could do themselves and it must be because my hair is going through a phase or a cycle, but this so called cycle has been going on for over 3 years now and its barely getting better so it cant be that!!! can it...?:confused:

    My dad has male pattern baldness but he's 53 and I inherit hair from my mum and she has really good hair especially when she was my age, so i dont think its hereditary but im not ruling it out...
    erm I do get VERY VERY VERY stressed though over everything and the thought of my stress being bad for my hair makes me more stressed so its like a vicious cirlce basically, but to be fair i;ve always been a stressy person and its only recently taking its toll. I dont know how to control my i;ve been having so many exams and uni applicaations and I want to do medicine and my school is very intense so yeah stress is VERY high for me.....

    i can bsically see my scalp now because my hair is so thin all over (but my eyebrows and eyelashes are thank god okay!) I hate being in flash pictures or in the sun in the fear my bald patches and thinning will show. When people comment on it they dont realise the damage theyve done, or how long it has taken you to get back to that normal stage when you're okay with it, and then they say something and you come crashing down to square one again.

    i literally have no one to talk to about this so i really really really would love some supprot, I have exams and uni applications soon so this is the last thing i want to think about but i still do every second of the day.

    I hate my face and hair and the way i look and my self esteem is bascially zero, i am so antisocial because im scared people wont want to tlak to me because i am ugly and balding I spend so much time crying about this, but i am slowly i think getting a bit better...

    So i dont know whats causing the hair thinning at all....

    Please someone help me and tell me what to do, i feel so alone and I really need someone's support right now!!!!

    Everyones who's actaully read all of this and are here now thank you sooooo much. seriously it means everything that you actualyl took your time out to read this so thank you and ily!

    Thank you ladies, love you all!:D
  2. meggie

    meggie New Member

    Hi Sweetie,

    I am much older than you (58 yrs. old) and also had a great, thick head of hair until a year ago. I, also, have been going through a lot of stress. I lost my 27 yr. old son a few years ago and now I worry constantly about my remaining daughter. My work is very stressful and I''m like you---I just stress over everything. My hair started falling out and it also has become very thin. I have had tests run also and everything is fine. I have been told by numerous doctors that it is attributed to stress and that in due time, when my stress level is controlled, that it will grow back in. The hard part is the stress due to the hair loss. I am trying different things to control my stress (deep breathing, meditation, vitamins, praying) and hopefully my hair will come back to normal. When you are feeling stressed, take deep, slow breaths from the abdomen and you will soon feel relaxed. Also go through every part of your body (from head to toes), one by one, and totally relax each part. Try this everytime you feel stressed during the day and soon you will be able to break the "fight or flight" stressor. Most likely your hair will start to grow back--it will take some time--but have faith that it will. God Bless You and I'll pray for your complete recovery!
  3. bioCC

    bioCC New Member

    You poor thing! This really breaks my heart reading this. :( I'm 21 and I can relate especially to your quote about seeing other girls with gorgeous, thick hair! It's definitely not fair to be dealing with this, especially at such a young age! My hair started falling out when I was 19 (at first I attributed it to college and personal stress), it hasn't gotten *too* drastic yet (as in, other people can't tell but I can) but my hair line (on the sides of my head) is definitely receding, I can no longer part my hair to the side, and my hair is ALL over the place, and for some reason I'm having scalp pain which scares me a lot :(. I have an appointment on the 13th though. It took me a while to call because I was in denial.

    While I have yet to resolve my hair loss issue, I can at least offer some advice. The first thing I would suggest looking into is seeing a therapist to help with the stress and self-esteem. As weird as it sounds, hair doesn't define who you are. I am having a VERY hard time convincing myself of this as well, but when I see people with thinning, balding hair my first reaction isn't to think they are ugly at all!

    Please, please try to get your body healthy. Do you keep a healthy, balanced diet? Do you eat meat? Do you avoid processed foods, too much sugar, etc? Sorry if you already do, I have a science background and I strongly believe in eliminating as many variables as possible.

    Do you get enough exercise too? I know from my experience it can be hard to exercise with low self esteem :(.

    I used to count the hairs that would fall out and calculate the rate at which I was losing my hair. Since then I've stopped but I still have a hard time thinking about it, especially with the scalp pain. Since then I've learned to push those thoughts away and to focus on something else.

    It makes me happy to know that you are applying for university and that you want to go into medicine! That shows me that you have ambition and goals and I think someone driven can most certainly tackle this problem because this type of person doesn't give up easily :). Also, maybe someday you could help people with their hair loss (if that ends up being the type of medicine you're interested in)! What has helped me not think about my hair loss is immersing myself into my coursework and my extracurricular activities. As hard as it is try not to let yourself be alone when you are stressing about your hair because other people (as long as they are nice!) can help distract you from those thoughts.

    You can also try cognitive exercises to help switch your thought processes. For example whenever you start thinking you are ugly and that no one would talk to you try to put things into an objective point of view: yes your hair is falling out, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy and succeed in life. And *never* call yourself ugly! When you start thinking that way try to come up with a phrase or something to push it out of your mind, or maybe listen to your favorite song (one that isn't sad, of course) and pay attention to the lyrics or recite the lyrics in your mind. Do whatever it takes to break the obsession and depression.

    I hope that all made sense, I'm new to posting in forums!

    Also find a doctor that will take you seriously. Have you seen a dermatologist? Or even a gynecologist? Or multiple doctors? A more drastic, but still useful, procedure could be to get a scalp biopsy. I have not tried this yet because I had thought that my hair loss was due to stress and low iron. My dermatologist last year said it does cause a small scar though but it can help with the diagnosis.

    Take deep breaths, I know this is overwhelming but you can do it! I hope this helped at least a little. *hugs!*
  4. thu8871

    thu8871 New Member

    Hi! firstly thank you both so much for replying! it means everything to me, it really does! :) I have replied to you meggie on your profile so do check it out if you have time! and below is the reply for you bioCC Thank you again and i love you both lots! *hugs* :>

    Hiya bioCC
    Thank you so much for replying to my thread, it's so nice to know that someone in this world actually cares and understands how I feel! Aw i am so sorry to hear abut your hair loss, but its good that you made an appointment so now hopefully it will all get better! keep me posted on how the appointment goes and if everything is okay! I also find that other people can't really tell my hair thinning unless i menion it, so maybe we see it as a lot worse than it actually is!

    I have seen a conunsellor earlier this year when things were gonig terribly, and it helped a lot talknig about it because before i had no one to talk to, but I don't want to have to be so dependent on a counsellor, I want to be able to deal with my hair problems and issues myslef sometimes, but i am so happy that there are people like you on this forum who are so kind and help me out so thank you! You're so right, I never thought of it that way, i awlays automatically thought that because i am balding that i am ugly, but maybe that's not always the case!

    i just always feel so paranoid! I've seen a couple of people look at my scalp before and thye havent said anythnig but I know that theyre thinknig my hair is thin, which really upsets me! also my aunt yesterday looked at my hair and said it looked so thin which is waht really triggered me into joining this forum. Up til that point i had been just about sorting out all my hair worries and then when she said that everyhting came crashing down again and I was soo upset. This always seems to happen that i build myself up and then someone comments on how thin my hair is and it makes me so depressed again and I really dont know how to prevent this from happening, because I can;t keep getting so depressed again! any ideas?

    I do eat a lot of meat and vegetables with my dinner, and i NEVER ever skip breakfast, i usually try to have weetabix or toast or soemthing. When i was about 14 i did get braces and i stopped eating as much because my mouth hurt and I lost a lot of weight at this stage, so im thinknig that couldve been a factor but since then i eat very normally. I do eat a lot of proceessed and sugary food...its a weakness haha...will that affect my hair?

    I will also definitely be considering more exercise, its hard at the moment to get myself actually started, but now that you've suggested it will help I will definitely be doing some!

    can i jsut say you are such a strong person! how do you push those thoughts away because i always count how much hair i lose!! Also how didd you overcome your self esteem issues, because its so hard for me! i go to an all girls school and i feel like everyone else around me is soo beautiful and i am the ugly duckling. I've never had a boyf or anything like that which kinda fuels my feelings of low self esteem and ugliness which is stupid i know but yeah its hard...

    thank you so much! if i do get the opportunity to be a docotor i will definitely specialise in something to do with hair to help people like all of us on this forum cope. It seems like my doctor doesnt even take me seriously which i hate! no one does in my family or my friends, which is i why i lvoe this forum and people like you who acutally do care!

    do you think seeing a dermatologist is useful? will they find something taht my GP hasnt?

    You're seriously just saved me. Thank you so much for everything. It really is hard to keep going and I feel like im stuck in a rut with no hope, because my hair isnt getting better, but you're right im going to try my best to stay strong and keep hope alive for all of us because its better than being a depressed wreck and just crying and not doing anyhting with my life right!

    Thank you soso so so mcuh for eveyrhting. I really appreciate it more than you will ever know and it helped so much! it's nice to know there is actually someone out there who gets my pain and takes me sseriously and understands and cares about how i feel and wants me to get better!

    *massive hug*

    PS sorry for all my typos! i get a bit emotional when i type and type crazily fast hence all the typos lol!
  5. bioCC

    bioCC New Member

    You're welcome! I really hope what I say helps! And I really do think that we probably see our hair loss as being worse than it actually is! Sometimes I get paranoid that it's all in my head (no pun intended lol)! And then I'll be in denial for a few months again! For example I barely thought about my hair loss all summer, and then a month ago I was sitting in a meeting, and I noticed four hairs falling out from one small part of my head. I started freaking out again, and later crying, feeling horrible about myself and I just felt so unhealthy!

    I also think that exercise can help with the stress and even overall depression. Having a routine can really help you feel more in control (same goes with eating well too). My biggest battle with my hair loss is that I feel completely out of control, like an animal in a cage. Try to optimize the things that you *can* control.

    I have been going to a therapist for a year and a half now and I must say it has really helped me. And you know what prompted me to call? It wasn't the stress from my bad relationship, my parents's divorce, my plummeting grades (I'll never forget my spring semester of '09), it was because of my hair falling out! With all of the other things going on, obviously a lot of people attributed it to stress, and I really hoped it was stress, and not some weird early onset balding. I got so irrational and paranoid that I had fears of turning into a man hormonally!! I felt very unattractive and didn't believe my boyfriend at the time when he said that I was pretty, etc. One of the most useful things my therapist taught me was that your thoughts control your feelings. Once you clear the negative, cognitive distortions you can begin to talk to yourself more positively, in a comforting manner. That has helped me a lot. I still have A LOT to overcome but I can at least snap out of my hair paranoia/depression long enough to go about my day and to focus on my course work.

    Growing up I had a lot of self-esteem and stress issues (and I still have a few). I always thought I was ugly, and I wished I could wear a mask to school! I had body dysmorphic syndrome and even though I was a smaller size in clothing I felt incredibly fat and always wore long sleeves because I thought my arms were fat! My best friend from high school still remembers the first day she saw my arms haha. I still dress very modestly and I haven't worn a swim suit since I was 13. Hopefully someday I'll be able to enjoy life a little more, especially by going to the beach! I *do* however wear short sleeves now! Yay! And you know what? I didn't have my first kiss and boyfriend until I was 17! I think that's totally normal. I know people in college who are very attractive and still have not had a relationship! Try to focus on making yourself feel better instead of worrying about having a boyfriend. I realize this is A LOT harder said than done. I had the same worry though: is something wrong with me? am I so ugly that no one would find me attractive? And then when I had a boyfriend and our relationship was horrible, and he got really mean. I was afraid to leave him because I thought nobody would love me if I lost my hair! We did break up and now I have found someone very kind and supportive. There is hope I promise!! Just try as best as you can (and don't get mad at yourself if you can't at first--these things take time and practice. I still have a lot of trouble, though I have improved a great deal) to push those thoughts out of your mind.

    I definitely cannot say that processed and sugary foods (they are my weakness too!) cause hair loss but what I can say is that in order for your body to work correctly, it needs the optimal amount of nutrients, and when eating the "bad" foods, you're losing calories that you could be gaining on better foods. When I started losing my hair I became pretty obsessed with nutrition. I used to essentially be vegetarian and I hadn't had red meat for 10 years. I'm eating more meats now to get protein and iron, though it is difficult! I really think "we are what we eat, " and that at least having a good diet can help eliminate foods as a factor causing hair loss so we can focus on finding another reason. And even if eating better won't help the hair loss, at least it can help with feeling better about yourself and feeling healthy in general.

    I was told by a gynecologist last year to try prenatal vitamins. I'm really bad about being consistent with taking vitamins so I can't say they made a difference for me, though I do plan on trying again!

    I also do think seeing a dermatologist can be helpful. A source of hair loss can come from an unhealthy scalp too (after all, it is where our hair grows!). When I went to a dermatologist he actually said I had dandruff! I was really surprised at that because I had never noticed it before. He gave me nizoral (anti-dandruff shampoo) and that helped it go away.

    Is there any way you could find another doctor? One that would take you seriously? It's really important to be your own advocate! Another story: I was having lower right abdominal pain for a year and a half, and they said it was an ovarian cyst (then I really started freaking out about my hair and hormones). The next year I kept going to my university's medical center trying to get help for the same pain but all they said was to go to urgent care because it could have been my appendix. I went to the emergency room to get a CT scan and they sent me home with a prescription for a pain killer and "nonspecific abdominal pain." I gave up for a while and then this summer I was in pain again! I FINALLY found a really good doctor and told her my story and frustrations and she just went through the list of things that could be wrong: thyroid, hormones, celiacs, inflammation, etc. Finally they found antibodies against H. Pylori, an ulcer causing bacterium. I was baffled and so happy to find out I had an ulcer! I'm hoping that maybe once I'm healthy again my hair may stop falling out too. So moral of the story is to find a good, caring doctor!! :)

    One thing that does give me hope though, as a last resort, is that there are hair transplants. There are even youtube videos of women getting hair transplants! Hopefully we will not need this though but I feel comforted knowing there are options. When you do find a boyfriend, make sure he's supportive! My current boyfriend says this to me when I am freaking out about my hair: "it doesn't look like your hair is falling out but I believe you since it's your hair." I find that surrounding yourself with supportive people can really help and so I'm glad you joined the forum! It's also why I joined too. It's one thing getting support from your friends that aren't losing their hair, or from guys who are losing their hair (I realize it can be devastating for men but I feel that with society the way it is, it is worse for women), and it's another to get support from other women losing their hair. I knew before that we weren't alone because I'll see women on campus with true hair loss and every day I am thankful for the hair I have left and my heart pours out to those women. And I know that you can still find love even with hair loss because I saw one of those women hand in hand with her boyfriend!

    I really hope you feel better soon! And I'm so sorry you are going through this, and that nobody in your family is being supportive! I know my self-esteem started improving when I got to college. I don't know if it was because I was older, or enjoying my coursework and research, or if it was a combination of all. It gets better I promise, just preserver and do what you can to take control of your life! Let us know how things go!

    Also: typos do not bother me at all! :) And sorry if this is really long! I have a lot to say and I ramble haha!


  6. thu8871

    thu8871 New Member

    Hey I'm sorry for replying so late, I've just been a bit busy with college and stuff! I completely feel the way you do!

    I've been feeling really crappy again because my hair is looking crazily thin, like the worst it's ever been, and the doctor said there's nothnig he can do, so I really don't know what to do! It's so unbelivably thin that I can see my scalp very clearly, and I feel like its gonig out of control and there's nothing I can do to stop! Because it's near christmas and lots of people's birthdays are coming up, I'm going to be going to quite a lot parties, but i seriously cannot go if my hair is this thin and shit because I am going to look hideous! I'd rather sit at home and mope (i know that sounds terrible but it's better than going and seeing everyone else with gorgeous hair and then seeing mine and seeing photos where the flash exposes my baldness, which would make me even more upset!):(

    I really don't know what to do anymore argh! Should I stop thinking about it? but its hard to do that because I can still see it in the mirror...
    Grr i hate being like this, I just want to be happy and be a normal teenager for once and not have to worry about stuff like this!!!I'm only 17 and i hate having to deal with soemthing like this at such a young age. i look at pics of myself when i was 13 and younger and I just envy how happy I was and i wish i could go back to being that myself again! erghh its so upsetting. Do you honestly think it'll get better? be honest!!! For some reason i think i might have telgoen effluvium due to my constant stressing (which i cant stop because i stress more the more thin my hair is, hence a vicious circle!) I really don't know what to do, i feel so hopeless and crap and trapped and stuck and just hgr;eaoye8yfjdrujhtyj.:mad:

    When you went to the therapist do you think it helped your hair get better? has there been anything that helped your hair get better?

    Everything your saying is actually happening to me! I have body dysmorphic syndrome, so I pretty much battle with the way i look every single second, and I hate the way i look, I think my hair triggered all these feelings because I never felt this way before.

    Did the dandruff shampoo help your hair loss in any way, because I read that dandruff can cause hair loss! my hair gets greasy VERY quickly, my sebacious glands are on overdrive! but i also find that my scalp is itchy sometimes and i get whitish flakes, so I'm thinking my hair loss could maybe be due to this, but would getting rid of dandruff help and I dont want to use any harsh shampoos or anything!

    Ah I'm glad you found a good docotor in the endIt's really hard for me to find another docotor, because I'm only 17 and travelling around to find one is pretty much not an option, plus I'd have to tell my parents about it and they'd say no and tell me that my hair is fine and that i'm just being silly, when it's actually not fine and theyre just not taking me sreiously! i am thinking of seeing a dermatologist in my area, who I found on the internet but I dont know if I can trust them or the site and i cant find any reviews on them so I;m not too sure what to do about that...

    It's so great that you've found such a great boyfriend to help you through all this!:) hopefully i'll be as lucky! i find it really hard to open up with all of this to my friends because they dont understnad and i'm scared they'll begin to notice more and stare at my scalp and make me more paranoid! I have been praying A LOT about this, and I know it's terrible to say this but I'm starting to lose faith in all my Gods (I'm Hindu) because they havent done anything to make my hair better and i am just suffereing so much and I don't know what I've done to deserve this and waht to do to make it all better...

    hopefully i won't have to get a hair transplant anytime soon! but you're right it's very good to have it as an option in case things get really bad!!! Do you think your hair has gotten thicker since you first started losing it?

    I really hope there is hope because at the moment i cant see or feel any and I'm stuck in a lonely rut and I jsut feel like absolute crap! I honestly dont feel like going on anymore, because I feel so worthless and rubbish (sorry for being dramatic but you know how terrible hair loss can be!)

    Thank you so so so much for eveyrthing. I really hope everything does get better for the both of us! Thank you again for being here for me, I don't know what I'd do if it wasnt for the lovely women like you on this forum!:D
  7. Brittey

    Brittey New Member

    You have my support sweetie

    I read your story. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through hair loss at 17. I hated my life back then (I'm 24 now). I had really bad acne and it made me very antisocial so I can sort of understand. My hair loss now bothers me, I have cried over it so many times. My mom ,boyfriend and family never believed that my hair was falling out either. That makes it so much harder,but they are in denial. Do not let someones stupid denial effect your ability to research and find answers. And yes adults can be stupid at times,we all can be! If I had listened to my family and believed it wasn't falling out,I would have to be bald before they would notice and finally say hey I guess its too late to do anything its just gone now. That is unacceptable. Fighting with them wont do any good though I know.I will not lie, it's going to be hard for you. But you have to know that its not gods punishment. I thought that too at first.

    There is a physical reason it's falling out. Try to find out if you are doing something wrong . I know you said that your eating but (what ) you are eating is important too so Id like to go over a few things nutrition wise with you and also suggest that you do some research online too.Here are some good question sto ask yourself

    Are you eating processed foods?
    Are you eating too much sugar?
    Are you eating too much salt?
    Are you eating enough fruit?
    Are you eating enough protein?
    Are you eating enough veggies?

    Are you really drinking enough water?

    Are you a healthy weight ?
    Do you get enough exorcise ?
    Do you get enough sun?
    What is your stress level?

    Are you taking vitamins?
    Do you or have you had an eating disorder?
    Are you using shampoo with sulfates and parabens in them>?
    Is your scalp dry or oily>?

    Crying won't solve any problem,research will. I have been doing all that's in my power to research the problem and I think I might be finding some real answers and solutions.

    Not all women have the same reasons for hair loss.
    I still do not know why mine was falling out. I haven't seen a doctor yet because its so expensive. I have found a new regimine that seems to be reducing my shedding,which is better than nothing!
    Id like to share it with all women with hair loss since it has given me some shred of hope.:)

    if you would like to know more about my hairloss history just PM me.

    Here is my regimine:

    When I wake up I take :

    1 folic acid pill
    1 Evening Primrose oil capsule
    1 Hair and nails pill
    1 Shen Min DHT blocker pill
    with a glass of water and a healthy breakfast. The water is very important ,water carries nutrients to the hair shaft in the blood stream.

    At lunch time I take

    1 evening primrose oil cap
    1 hair and nails pill
    With a glass of water and a healthy lunch.

    After dinner and before bed I drink a glass of water then I take another Shen Min DHT blocker pill and 1 Evening primrose.

    I also drink 2 glasses of ovaltine a day and its a yummy chocolate drink that is packed with good minerals and vitamins you need.You can find all of these items at wall-mart and the vitamin shoppe online.

    I really hope this helps.
  8. bioCC

    bioCC New Member

    It's ok! I've been busy too :)

    Hair loss *is* really devastating. I think it's normal to feel this way but we need to try to push forward and take command of our lives. We can't let it rule us. The past few days I've been pretty upset about it too but I'm trying my best to get through it. It is truly difficult though. I think know I'm not the only one makes me feel better (but also sad that other people are going through it too). Just today in my biochem class I was talking to a friend of mine and she said her hair was falling out too! It really is unfair. :( I mean, why should we care so much about hair? It's just dead protein? It's society that puts so much weight on it and society is stupid! lol but yet I still care so much...

    My advice isn't to stop thinking about it but rather to think about what you can do to help the situation. For me, it's about trying to eat right (and I need to drink more water too!!!), get sleep (which I also need to work on), take supplements, see the therapist, get the blood work done, etc. I feel like if I can stay on top of it I can save precious time rather than just letting it sit like I did in the past.

    I think what helped my hair get a little better was taking iron pills when I was on low iron and then I was on a steady birth control. Though I got really bad at remembering to take medicine and both the BC and iron kind of disintegrated until now. It's really important to do the best you can to see if you can figure out why you're hair is falling out. It could be an easy fix like iron pills, or birth control, etc.

    I really hope you feel better soon. Try to spend some time with friends, being in the midst of silly conversations can also help with stress :).

    My therapist has really helped coach me into living a much better life. I was stressed out ALL the time (I still am quite stressed a lot but I've improved immensely). Before this recent hair loss episode the thoughts were really starting to fade away and I was able to enjoy most of my summer and it was nice! Even if you choose not to see a therapist please try to practice positive thinking (I know it sounds much easier than it is), relaxation, breathing exercises. Try to think of a happy situation/place (the woods, beach, etc) and think about that for a few minutes while breathing. When you start thinking about your hair stop and practice that exercise. You could also find little dot stickers and put one on your wrist and every time your eyes happen to lay on the dot, take a deep breath. The small breaks throughout the day can really add up and help a lot.

    I strongly recommend seeing a dermatologist. Even if there are no reviews you could still go to the appointment and see if you like them, and if you don't like them then you don't have to take whatever prescriptions they prescribe etc. Dermatologists can really help you figure out what's going on or at least tell you whether or not you're imagining the hair loss. I was in denial for so long and since my hair is really curly and fluffy nobody noticed but me. Though it's gotten to the point where the first person other than myself and the doctor has noticed and said something to me about it yesterday (this made it very hard to study!!!).

    I'm really sorry this is starting to interfere with your religious beliefs! I think seeing a therapist will help with what may be turning into depression if it isn't already. Do you think it would help if you could pray for strength to tackle the problem? Maybe starting small will help and indirectly they will answer your prayers?

    I also went to the dermatologist on Monday and turns out I really am losing my hair. I went last year and they said I had low iron but I didn't really think too much about it and I tried taking the supplements they prescribed but eventually I just kind of stopped...When I went in on Monday they pulled out my chart and said my iron stores were half the minimum amount. He did a hair pull test and some hairs were falling out. What scared me most was my hairs along my hairline were falling out just as I feared. He found miniature hairs too which terrified me and I almost started crying right there. They said to take 700 mg iron every day and, as my scalp was red too he gave me a topical corticosteroid. I just started using it yesterday. They said the topical stuff isn't that effective so if it doesn't work I'll have to get injections. And in two months I'm to go back and they will see if it's any better and if not, they'll do a biopsy.

    I also started taking biotin for the hell of it. I don't know if it will help but I'll do pretty much whatever it takes. My dermatologist mentioned trying the foam minoxidil (even though it's for men it's supposed to be better for irritated scalps) but I'm afraid to start it for a few reasons: one is that if my hair stops falling out, how would I know if it's due to the iron or the minoxidil? and second I'm afraid that if I start it it'll start falling out more or that I'll have to take it for the rest of my life. So I'm holding off on that even though I'd love for my hair to fill back out again.

    My hair hasn't really gotten thicker but I'm beginning to believe it is due to the underlying health issue of iron stores. I'm also scared though that I could have an autoimmune disorder causing my immune cells to attack my hair follicles because I had arthritis growing up. But I'm kind of a worrier when it comes to health/biology these days. I've gotten quite obsessed.

    I also called my primary care doctor to get some more blood work done on Monday because the dermatologist didn't want to check until 2 months of taking the iron again.

    Just know that there is hope. There are things that you can do! I hope you feel better!!!!
  9. meggie

    meggie New Member

    Just a quick message to you. Sorry you are going through the hair loss, as I have been for the past year. I started taking iron approx. 4 months ago (my ferritin level was 20) and I just went to the doctor last Tuesday and my level is now 67. I take it every day and also eat spinach and protein. My shedding has stopped in the past month and I hear that it takes a few months for new hair growth so I am hoping and praying. I keep waiting for the dreaded "shed" but so far so good. I hope you continue to take your iron and I also take biotin and B vitamins in a "hair, skin, & nails supplement". Good luck--keep the faith!
  10. bioCC

    bioCC New Member

    I'm really glad to hear that your shedding has stopped! Mine is getting worse right now. :( My boyfriend is starting to notice more hair on the floor. I'm hoping to get my health problems figured out soon. It feels like a relapse of sorts. I went to the doctor yesterday and they said my blood was normal so hopefully that will help. She's also getting me started on birth control again to cut back on blood loss. My greatest fear is my hair loss being the result of female pattern or areata. I'm afraid to get the biopsy done to find out that there is nothing I can do about my hair loss. :( It makes me so mad that so many women are going through this. I wish someone would get to the bottom of it. Or come up with a cure! It is very hard not to obsessed about it when it's so blatantly there. My hair line is really suffering right now too :(.
  11. HairPlease

    HairPlease New Member


    Just wanted to join in and say that you are NOT alone. I am 24 years old and suffer from hair loss just like you! I am fairly certain mine is genetic (androgenetic alopecia); however, I never rule out the possibility of STRESS! I am a worry-wart and constantly have something else to worry about (as if it isnt already bad enough that I worry about my hair!)

    Keep your head up and PLEASE dont let yourself sit and get down about it. I tried that route and it just doesnt seem to work! :) So, I'll save you the trouble.

    Sounds like you are being proactive which is great, and DONT GIVE UP. Start painting, exercising, going to church, or anything that makes you happy and get out of the house and getting involved!

    Dont talk to people who will bring you down about it- the only person you should talk to is God. Just like you, I always felt like this was God's way of punishing me. He took away the one thing I was proud of (my hair) and left me out to dry. But here recently I have started to Pray pray pray. Not just for my hair to grow back (obviously), but for God to open my eyes to the reason this has happened to me. A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law lost her mother in a car accident, and my sister-in-law is 8 months pregnant with her first child. At that very point that I got the phone call with the bad news, it literally hit me like a ton of bricks what God has been trying to tell me. It isnt all about me sometimes. Life is so short. I am alive, cancer free, have a great family, and for the most part, very healthy. If the worst thing that happens to me in life is that I go bald, well, obviously that would suck, but, there are WORSE things in life. Ill take my good health over hair any day of the week. :)

    So keep your head up and know that it can ALWAYS be worse, always. Just continue to be proactive and pray that God leads you in the right direction for a cure! :)

    I will pray for you! God bless
  12. meggie

    meggie New Member

    Well, I was doing so well and starting yesterday the "dread shed" started again, for whatever reason I don't know. This is so frustrating. I was feeling so "up" about everything and now I'm so down again. I just wonder if it will ever end. I just hate to think of having to go through this all over again after doing so well for a month. Oh well, I'm still hopeful! Take care and hoping you get well soon.
  13. phee4880

    phee4880 New Member

    Hey! I'm so sorry this is happening to you too :( I'm a little younger than you (15) but I also go to an all girls school and I hate going to school and seeing everyone with their gorgeous hair. I dread going out and going to parties because I know that no matter what I do, it won't look good :( I was diagnosed with TE and my derm said it was most likely due to my low iron levels. My levels are normal now, and while it isn't shedding like crazy like it was before, it is still thinning slowly, which is awful, because it's just been dragging out over a matter of months. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to because my friends just roll their eyes and say it isn't that bad, and my parents just get irritated and say it's all in my head. When it was really bad, I felt horrible because I didn't have a boyfriend, or even a boy who was interested in me, and I was sure that it was due to my COMPLETE lack of self-esteem, and, of course, my thin, thin hair. I've been dating a boy for a month or so now, and it actually just adds to the stress sometimes. I feel so ugly whenever we go out and I feel like I'm an embarrassment to him (I'm sure he hasn't noticed, but still :( ). I just feel really alone and I don't know if it's ever going to stop and go back to normal :( I hope it stops for you, and that you can figure out what's causing this. I wish I had found out sooner, all though it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference now that I have found the problem. The worst part is that I am not losing more than normal hair now, but it is STILL THINNING. I have no idea what it possibly could be, and all the doctors say there technically isn't a problem! It's just so frustrating sometimes.
  14. thu8871

    thu8871 New Member

    Firstly I want to say thank you so much for reading through my crazy rant! I really appreciate it :)
    secondly I am so incredibly sorry this happening to you too! I completely understand how you feel because I went through the exact same thing and it sucks so much!!!
    Firstly don't feel alone at all! You can always message me if you ever need to rant or cry or complain or anything because I am probably going through the exact same thing as you! I honestly have no idea why this is happening to us and I have no idea it will stop but everyday I am hoping beyond anything it will!
    Eurgh I get what you mean about going out! There was a point in time where I just stopped going out because I knew I would always looks crappy, but seriously don't do that! it will make you feel worse just being stuck at home! I always hated being in photos because the flash literally highlighted my bald spots, so i avoided photos and just tried to have a good time! It's really good that your hair has stopped shedding! my hair firstly shed like mad too, like hamsters in the shower mad! but when it slowed down, after a while i noticed my hair getting the tiniest bit thicker! But it thinned down again because I stress like a mad person! i think stress really plays a massive part in our hair loss especially because we're girls who stress about the way they look all the time!! I know it's SO difficult to do this, but I found that when I stopped thinkignn about my hair as much (i.e. when I had to concentrate on school) my hair did stop thinning as much.
    It sucks that you dont have anyone to talk but like i said i am always here! this forum is a community and everyone is lookign out for each other :):)
    My friends and parents said the EXACT SAME thing to me too!!! It just made me even more frustrated. To be honest I just avoid talking to them about it because i know they'll never get it unless they have gone through it themselves which is why I came on this forum whicch really helps! also I saw a therapist for a bit too which helped with getting it all off my chest and crying it out! Try and surround yourself with good people and friends who genuinely make you happy and wnat you to be happy, which i know in an all girls school is SO difficult because there's so much bitchiness and gossipping etc! if your friends aren't doing this then maybe they arent your true friends, I had to learn this the hard way! when i hung out with my cousins one summer i had an awsome time and because I was so much happier and they didnt make me feel crappy about the way I looked my hair got a LOT better too!
    I'm so sorry you feel this way when you're with your boyfirend! I pretty much avoid guys because i feel pretty crappy too. Firstly you are probably being really paranoid because ure boyfriend is goinng out with you because he likes you for you! so don;t worry too much! but if you stil find it hard, i would probably take a break from the stress of a relationship to help your hair issues and stuff get better.

    I have TE too which sucks because there isnt really a cure and it is going on forever because i get really stressed ALL THE TIME especially with applying for universities and stuff! what hobbies and stuff do you do to relax? and how well do you eat? i have to confess i eat pretty crappily and i think this contributed to my hair loss too, I had some weight loss issues a couple years back but now all i want is my hair back more than ever!! I also have a bit of greasy dandruff so I'm thinking it could be serrobhatic dermatitis, but it will NOT go away and i ahve no idea how to get rid of it! My scalp is increidbly itchy and I find the more stressed i am the more i itch and the more greasy my scalp is!! I don't have time to think of my hair as much but it is still thinner than ever :( and i am SO scared!!!

    my doctor was exactly the same, ergh it drives me MAD.
    Lets stick together and see what works and hopefully we'll beat this once and for all!!!
  15. phee4880

    phee4880 New Member

    Everything you say has been happening to me too!! I have flakes all over, especially on my crown and part (which are really disgusting and will NOT get off) and I think they might be blocking some of the new growth. I've been using Neutrogena TGel, and it's been helping :)I think that watching funny t.v. shows or reading helps me to get rid of some of the stress, as does writing down some of my thoughts. I think the best way for me not to stress is to distract myself, which can sometimes be hard to do. I just have to keep telling myself that it has to get better one day, and sometimes realizing that I'm not losing an abnormal amount of hair makes me feel better. (I get obsessive sometimes and count the number of hairs I lose) I've stopped looking in mirrors or getting my picture taken because I know I'll just get stressed about it again. It's awful though, because stress makes my hair worse, but my hair is causing me to stress. I feel like I can't win Oh, and I also think yoga helps with stress and actually increases blood flow to your scalp, but I'm WAYYY too hyperactive to sit still enough for yoga :) The weight issues are what caused my hair loss too! I was anorexic for a few months last year, but I've been better for months. My dermatologist finally figured out it was my low iron that was causing the loss. It didn't show up on any tests before because I wasn't anemic. Apparently low iron can be just as bad. My friends have been really great about it, but I have had a few people comment about my hair, which made me so upset and a few times I had to really try not to cry. I am so glad I found this site though :) It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is going through this! Do you have any tips for destressing? When you said that stress was worsening your hair, I realized that my hair has gotten worse when I've been upset. I think we just have to tough up and hope that everything gets better :)
  16. mabaker

    mabaker New Member

    Hello - I just joined the forum and project a few days ago. I was reading the above by you and I notice you live in London - so do I.
    I don't know how old it is so you may already have this info already - I was recommended to a dermatologist/trichologist - called Dr.David.A.Fenton he has an NHS clinic at Guy's and St Thomas' - it's the St John's Institute of Dermatology - your Doctor should be able to refer you - or he runs a private clinic in Harley St 020 7580 8356 -

    Sorry if you already know this - hope things are getting easier for you.