well,now im desprate.i need someone

Discussion in 'Open Topic (General)' started by linzineedshelp, Jul 14, 2011.

  1. linzineedshelp

    linzineedshelp New Member

    hi.i have got to the point now where im desprate for someone to talk to and im not ashamed to admit it.im am struggling bad at the moment and there is nobody to talk to,well...nobody who understands or can give advice.every day i search the internet for answers.i just get more confused.i need someone who uses the site often/daily perhaps? someone i can talk to,is there anyone who can give me advice? please if anyone can help me.

    unfortunately not many people reply to my posts.i font know what else to do.nobody around me understands and i dont feel i can share this pain with them.it truly is destroying my soul.i need to know when this will stop.i cant stand any more :-(

    linzi x
  2. ForeverBlue

    ForeverBlue New Member


    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know, because i live it everyday myself. The only difference between us, is that i've been living this nightmare for 3 years now, so i'm a little more use to feeling like this. It's almost normal for me now to feel sad and depressed.

    The other day, i was suicidal, and had to call somebody to come over because i was so afraid i was going to hurt myself. I know i have it in me to do it, because i've tried before. My hair hair loss has destroyed my life, so i understand how devastated and desperate you feel. I've spent many days just crying my eyes out, and asking, why me. I'm very afraid this will kill me eventually, because i just can't stand being like this anymore.

    Have you considered therapy? I hope you don't get upset by me asking that. I usually get upset when people suggest it, because i know it won't help me. I just want my hair ( and my life back ). Talking about it, just won't make things better for me. But that's just me, for some people, i know it helps them.

    If i'm correct, i believe you don't live in US, right? I wish you did. I would be more then happy to talk to you on the phone. At least you would know i could relate to how you are feeling. It's very hard for people to understand how we can be so devastated by hair loss. I always say to that, how would you like to go bald. I guess it's just one of those things that unless you've been through it, you just don't know what it's like.

    I still believe you have TE, that will get better. It can take a long time, but it does stop, and grow back. You HAVE to have hope, because without that, you have nothing. I gave up any hope about a year ago. That's when i became very suicidal. I wish i could have hope, but after 3 years, i know my hair is never coming back.

    I have been where you are, and i guess i'm still there. But like i said, i've felt like this for 3 years. I no longer search the internet everyday for answers. I know i won't find one there. I know why i have hair loss, and let me tell you, it does not make it any easier to know why it's happening.
    All i know is that i just want to feel normal again. I think about my hair from the time i open my eyes in the morning, until i close them at night. I just want to think and do normal things again, like i use to. It has consumed my life for the last 3 years.

    I come on here daily, so if you ever need to chat, i'll see your post. I wish i could be of more help to you. Just know that i understand how you feel, and you're not alone.

    Take care <<<Hug>>>
  3. linzineedshelp

    linzineedshelp New Member

    hi foreverblue, thank you so much for replying to my post and offering to look each day, you dont know how much that means to me.i know that talking wont help me because i feel so much pain right now but having someone for advice and to talk to here really does make me feel less alone.

    i am starting to get the feeling i dont want to carry on and that scares me so much, i have two beautiful children.how can i possibly think that way? that alone makes me feel so selfish and guilty.i just cant control these feelings i have about the hair loss.i know its a bad thing to say but i hate myself, i cant stand the mirror and i just want out.i too wake up each day thinking of my hair and last thing at night, i cant do this much longer and its only been 3/4 months!!! that makes me realise how incredibly strong you are.you must be so brave.

    you are right, i dont live in the US, i wish i did too so that i could speak to you on the phone.that would have been so helpfull and i appreciate the advice you have been giving me so far, also in my other posts.

    i am now scaredf that i have androgenetic alopecia, simply because someone suggested it to me and that i have all over thinning.i dont know what i will do if this is something that wll never stop or be reversed.i wish i knew that my hair loss was just to do with having my son and that it will pass soon.i just cant see any hope right now.im taken over by the fear of losing all of my hair,i already dislike myself so much.

    im sorry to hear how hard things are for you and i think you are so brave, i wish i could be, i wish i could be strong enough to cope with this.to openly ask for someone to help me on here, shows me just how desprate i must be.my friends dont understand and always say the wrong thing and that makes me feel so alone.

    please try to take one day as it comes ( beleive me i know how hard that is and you will probably want to kill me for saying it! ) you are a special person inside and deserve to enjoy life as much as anyone else.how sad that hair or lack of, can have such an effect on us and the way we live life.

    thank you so much for your support and advice

    take care xxx
  4. ForeverBlue

    ForeverBlue New Member

    Just wanted to check in with you today, to let you know i'm thinking about you. I hope you have a better day :)

    You should never feel guilty about being upset over your hair loss. It's normal to feel that way. Losing your hair, to me, is like losing your identity. I look in the mirror now, and i don't recognize myself . That's a scarey thing. I feel like the person i use to be is gone, and will never come back. I use to love life, and i was happy, outgoing, and attractive. Now i hate life, feel ugly, feel sad, and don't want to be around people at all. That is not who i really am. Self esteem is so important us. We need to feel good about ourselves, which is really hard to do when you're going bald. I just feel like a freak now. I never look in the mirror anymore, because when i do, the tears start to flow. I miss seeing an attractive reflection. I don't like what i see now :mad:

    I use to feel vain for feeling like that, but it's not about that at all. It's about just wanting to feel normal again. I'd like to be able to take a shower, without having a meltdown, and crying for hours, because i just watched handfuls of hair fall out. Showers have become a nightmare, and i sometimes get sick to my stomach when i have to take one.

    I know you must be strong to be able to take care of 2 children, while having to deal with all this. I can barely take care of myself, so i know i wouldn't be able to do it. Some days i can't function at all !!! Just remember, your kids will love and need you, hair or no hair. You're lucky to have that ( i wish i did ).

    You WILL get through this. Take care.
  5. linzineedshelp

    linzineedshelp New Member

    hi,thanx its so nice of u to come back and contact me.it means a lot.

    i feel the same way,like i have lost my identity.i dont feel like me anymore either.i too used to love my hair and now i hate it.its not fair,why me.
    i was having a slightly better day until i washed my hair and ended up feeling sick.it felt so great when i noticed a little less hair coming out when i washed it.probably about 25! but since then ive had lots in my hands and now i feel like im never going to have normal hair again.

    i hope ur feeling ok today.its strange how you dezcribe the way you are feeling and think to myself,yeah its how i feel too.its such a great shame to hear you say that you dont leave the house.althouh i completely understand why.have u considered wearing a wig?

    also,would you like my email address ? would it be easier?

    do u have any knowledge of androgenetic alopecia? im so scared that its what i have.i dont know what to do.

    take care and thank you xxx
  6. Granny7

    Granny7 New Member

    Hi their,
    Your not alone! I too have been so depressed over my hair and other stress's that I haven't been able to even get on here. We both need each other, so I'll write more tomorrow, it's hard on my I-pad. Hang in their, we can help each other.
    God Bless,

    PHILLYBABE New Member

    Hi Ladies - I started losing my hair at age 18 after the death of my mother. Went to a Doctor for 7 years getting injections of Vitamin B to stop the hair loss, but to no avail. I am now 68yrs old, and let me tell you that I am still so ashamed that I have no hair and have to wear wigs. As you may also have experienced, it limits you in so many ways. The biggest hurdle was being initimate with a man, my husband. Afterall, a woman's mane is a significant part of her feminity and sexuality. Alot of men will never understand the impact of trying to be all woman, without hair. It is generally more acceptable for men to lose their hair, not women, unless perhaps to cancer. You feel as though you are living a lie and what if you get found out? No one can possibly understand how you feel unless they have walked in your shoes and I empathize and sympathize with anyone who has lost their hair.
    Have been told that stress plays a most important part in hair loss. Looking back over the years, probably is my cause. Death of my mother, my baby daughter, being trapped in a burning house, abused sexually as a child, abused by my husband, emotionally, physically, psychologically and mentally have all contributed. The list goes on. Now, in my senior years, hope for my hair to return is nil. Have also lost most of my eyebrows and alot of eyelashes and well as other body hair.

    Definitely feel your pain and it is so real. Guess my saving grace is the fact that over the years, have found wonderful wigs to wear and maintain them myself. Still, the stigma of no hair has wounded me deeply. In a sense, makes you feel less than, not adequate.
  8. Granny7

    Granny7 New Member

    Well Now, I'm Desperate, I need someone.


    I can definitely understand what you are dealing with, but it's so sad that it started happening to you at 18. Mine started in my 30's, looking back on it, still don't know what caused it? I, like you feel the shame of evening letting my husband see me. I sure don't feel very sexy at all, he tries to make me feel better, but I really don't feel pretty anymore.

    I had been experiencing hair loss for over 6 yrs. and it started when they took me off a low dose of Synthroid, because my thyroid level all of a sudden got real high. Dr. took me off for 3 months, it went back to normal, thyroid level, but then for the next 6 yrs. my hair got more and more thin and he wouldn't put me back on it. I've since found a really good Dr. who started me on 0.50mg. everyday. I am praying that his works, as my FSH levels are always on the low side.

    Mine got really bad about 18 months ago, it was already getting thin and more thin, not being on any Thyroid medicine. I went to a wig store to purchase a human hair wiglet, to replace the synthetic one. They showed me a new way to wear hair, it was glued on and it stayed there for 4 to 6 weeks. You then went in and they took the wig off, that they had glued on, cleaned it and glued it back on again. I should have listened better to the process better, but I was so excited to have hair to show my grown daughter and grand-children, grandma with hair. I looked so good with this $900 glued on wig, that I could sleep in, wash in the shower, etc. It never came off, till they took it off. I felt like a real woman again, husband loved it. I still felt strange, however, because I didn't feel like it was part of me. At some points, I felt like I wanted to rip it off my head, as it felt like I had something foreign attached to me.

    Six weeks later, went to the salon for them to take it off, clean it and put it back on. I had not seen myself when they first did it, as they turned me away from the mirror. This time, they didn't and when they took the wig off, I almost threw up. The top of my head had been shaved and then where it had been glued on, their was no hair, in a circle around my head. I had to let them go ahead and re-attach it again. But, I told myself, never again. I went to another place and had them attach it the next few times with tape, no more shaving. I then converted my hairpiece, with clips, so that I can take it off and on, without tape, because even the tape was pulling my hair out by the roots.

    Now, my hair has grown back at least 30%, but I think what they did sent me into shock, thus affecting my hair getting worse, which it did. I lost 50% more hair after the shock of what they did. Others have sworn by this, but it's just not for me. As my top hair would start growing, the hairpiece would move a little, especially in bed. Now, I just take my clip on hairpiece off and sleep without anything. At the very beginning, it took over 6 months before I would let my husband see me without my hair. I slept in a shower cap and wore a turban on my head, if I don't have my hair piece on.
    I finally let him see me, but only after I had my hair colored again, as what grew back in was white and looked frizzy. The consistency of my hair has changed also. I have 2 hair pieces, the first one, which is thicker and then I bought one, that was handmade and only $250 and very light. It comes from a sight, called "Look of Love." I am happy with it, but the other $900 one is a much better quality of hair, from what my hairdresser told me.

    I've never tried the vitamin B injections, but do take high doses of the vitamin, along with a lot of others that are suppose to help. My dermatologist did a scalp biopsy, told me that I had Androgenic Alopecia and also something else, that I can't remember. I'll find out for you. I was told to also use Spirolactin or something similar, a lot of ladies on this forum use it. I just never started it and am praying that this dose of Thyroid medication will help. Have you ever had yours checked, also the adrenals, pituitary also? I'm going to a new endocrinologist and will get more extensive blood work done, as I still feel like it comes from something internal.

    In regards to stress, you have had more than your share, more than I've had and I thought that I had a lot. I lost my Mom 8 yrs. ago, was actually accused by my sisters of doing something to her. My own Mom, who I loved and took care all her life, while they did nothing. but that's okay, I had that last special week with her, just the two of us. My brother at 51, died in my arms, affair from my husband after 25 yrs. of marriage, which almost killed me. A lot of other things also, the list goes on and on. I do understand that stress can be responsible for loss of hair. I do know that with my husband the past 3 yrs. have been extremely stressful. I to have lost my body hair, pretty much, but do still have eyebrows, grey of course.

    I understand, exactly how you feel. I feel like I'm not pretty anymore, I've gained weight, but in a way, because of how my marriage is going, I can't get motivated to do anything. I also suffer from panic attacks and depression, so it's hard to get out of the house. My life isn't very happy and sounds a lot like yours. I wish I could help you, just know that I do understand exactly how you feel.

    If you decide to do the glue on hairpiece, please don't let me the one to discourage you. It does make you feel more like a woman. I just couldn't deal with it.

    Please try and look inside of yourself, you've got to be a good person and I guess we've both got to be happy that at least they make nice human hair wigs.

    By the way, where did you get yours? I still have trouble getting mine as clean as they do when I go to the hairdresser, every 5 weeks. Do you use certain products? I use a foam block, but still have trouble blowing it dry as nice and straight as my hairdresser. Let me know, okay.

    God Bless,

  9. Granny7

    Granny7 New Member

    I will definitely try and respond to you tomorrow. I've been trying to hold myself and marriage together and it's now very late.

    Take care, will be in touch,