I'm new to this website and after looking at my hair in the mirror this morning I have hit rock bottom. I am a 21 year old female (obviously) and my hair loss began to become noticeable to me around September last year (2012). Before then my hair was fairly long, fine in texture but not thin, I had no noticeable thin areas and it was easy to style and manageable. For the past 2 months in particular I have been in total despair about my hair. I was perfectly happy until the age of aound 19, when I started to develop quite bad acne, for more than 2 years my life was controlled by the condition of my skin until I was finally prescribed roaccutane. I was on roaccutane at 60mg a day for 5 months completing my course towards the end of September. Throughout suffering from acne I happy with one thing (my hair) because I could still make an effort to look nice and make myself feel ever so slightly better about my situation. I suffered from crippling depression and had several sick notes for work over the two and a half years, I would just sit in bed and check the mirror every half an hour. I despised myself completely. Throughout this I remained in a relationship with my boyfriend of now nearly 4 years, but he was totally unaware of the severity of my situation, the relationship couldn't progress because I didn't feel comfortable enough without my makeup on and was terrified of him seeing me when I wasn't made up. He met me when I was my happiest, before I had acne and I was the happiest I'd ever felt within myself. So naturally I was embarassed and felt that he would find me repulsive if he knew how bad it was. Finishing my roaccutane I finally felt free again like I could now make up for the 2+ years of my life that had been taken away from me because of acne. I looked forward to spending weekends with my boyfriend without having to worry about my skin condition and just get to that comfortable point in the relationship. I was nearly there and that is when my hair loss started. I have never been able to totally let myself go with my boyfriend, we will have been together 4 years this november but it still feels like the early stages of a relationship because of how I am. Because I only ever stayed over at his house when my skin was clear and I felt confident. Now my hair is getting so thin I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror and my life is now controlled by another confidence crippling condition. Now I am trying to desperately to hide this from my boyfriend. I feel embarassed and ashamed, he won't want to be with someone who has the hair of someone more than twice my age. Many people would say that is shallow and why would I want to be with someone who wouldnt accept me as I am.. but as much as people like to disagree, physical attraction is a major contribution to relationships and this is why it's becoming so hard for me. I got with him when I felt so great about myself and now i'm starting to feel every day i'm just totally out of his league with every hair that falls out. He has no idea I am going through this unless he has noticed but doesn't want to say, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I feel embarrassed to speak to any of my friends about it because I just can't stand for them to look at me and pity me for going through this. But I fear that as time goes on, very soon it will become apparent to them. I've had comments that my hair is noticeably thinner from people at work, and from my mum. I can no longer tie my hair back because it is so thin, the only way I can style my hair is straight and with extensions in (which are becoming harder and harder to conceal). I'm at university studying beauty therapy management and I should feel like the world is my oyster. I feel like everyone else my age is thriving and loving life and I'm having to deal with these things that nobody else around me is. I just want to be happy, in life and within my self. I also feel like how can I enter into this industry which is based on appearance and beauty when I look and feel the way that I do. Some days I feel like giving up the course, today I was getting ready to head off to my lecture and tried to style my hair and just gave up in floods of tears, put my pyjamas back on and cried in bed. But all i want to do is lay in bed away from everyone else. I am so inlove with my boyfriend, I love him with all my heart but I just feel like I can't be with him because very soon it's going to become apparent how bad my hair loss is. I should be going away on holidays with him, staying at his for the weekend and feeling totally comfortable with him. It's all i want. I'm so devastated at the fact that I just know it wont happen. I realise that my hair loss may be linked to the roaccutane that I was prescibed, and that telogen effluvium is a side effect which means the hair will often grow back. Meanwhile my hair is looking like the early stages of female pattern hair loss. When I look above my head in the mirror, scalp is clearly visible and all I can do is cry. I know there is probably nothing I can do, but I just feel so lost it is unbearable.